Happy Holidays!

see you all again next year.

inside looking out, outside looking in

i attended 2 consecutive christmas parties in the last two days. one at my new office and yesterday at my old beloved department. the title of this entry says it all. i was like a stranger at my new office, an observer, on the inside yet longing to be on the outside, somewhere else. while at the old home i was now an outsider, looking at what used to be when i was on the inside.

sometimes i wonder if i should just stay away from events like that. so as to forget all the bitterness i feel, the 'dapat kasali ako dun' or the 'dapat alam ko yun' statements.

but back in jerry's car, joyride to grace's place, to nhila's then mine, the feeling of belonging comes back, yet somehow different.

ballpen

people who give ballpens as exchange gifts have no imagination. and it's not even the sign pen type. they should have just given the minimum amount of the requirement in cash.

i for one would not be caught dead giving a ballpen. kahit pa parker sha.

being a scrooge. me bad.

party party

went to two christmas parties. twas a blast. thanks to my 'sisters' for the down time spent eventhough y'all tortured me with your mommy, anak and S.I. jokes. thank you ha. hehe. (kung ano ang S.I. just ask the sisters, that is if you figure out who they are. isa pang hehe).

as usual the unang gimik kids(if you can call us kids still), laugh trip til 5 AM. plus i dunno where shaider and annie came from but ayan nabinyagan ko na kayo mwahaha. but i do hope you guys figure out kung ano ba talaga kayo... (alien o pulis kalawakan? figure it out Annie before showing your undies! *lol*)

two more christmas parties to go, 2 more exchange gifts (kainis ang nabunot ko dito sa defartment namin) and then its a hohoho to bulacan. gosh i'll miss my SO. waaah...

last saturday

it just dawned on me yesterday why saturday was very important for him. i went somewhere for the very first time, and that first was with him while he has been to places he has never gone to before with me a gazillion times.

and also for the first time my patience didn't run out. there was a heavy down pour, we were sopping wet, long line for a ride home and my damned bladder was bursting! ang haba ng pisi ko i tell you.

all in the name of ... eek ang mushy ko nanaman.

meme na cellphone ko

plush cell phone bed
You put your phone to bed practically every night to have it recharge, right?
Let it rest in style in this adorable lil’plush phone bed by San-X. Your iPod
can even snuggle up, too! Includes 2 cute slippers that are screen cleaners.
Imported from Japan. Available online in the US exclusively at fredflare.com.
Hurry! Limited supply! About 9”x5”x3” Click here for iPod shuffle cover.
$22.

my sis found this at www.fredflare.com. cute and weird at the same time. i'd probably make my teddy bears and keroberos doll share the bed. pretty expensive for a toy bed too.

it's ur birthday!

got this again from katie's blog. hehe gaya-gaya. anyway i posted this because sabi niya donald trump should watch his a-s-s. though not exactly but it's funny how i've got the head for business daw. dumdidumdum.

Your Birthdate: July 8

Watch out Donald Trump! You've got a head for business and money. You'll make it rich some day, even if you haven't figured out how yet. A supreme individualist, you shouldn't get stuck in a corporate job. Instead, make your own way - so that you can be the boss. Your strength: Your undying determination Your weakness: You require an opulent lifestyle Your power color: Plum Your power symbol: Dollar sign Your power month: August

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

cackling chickens

the term came to mind when i heard these girls laughing their asses out inside the mrt coach i was riding in. actually they were on the other side of the train but i could still hear them 'cackling' from where i stood.

how come some people can guffaw like that in public places as if they own the world? so what do you do about cackling chickens? feed them chicken feed. weh.

wonderfully wicked saturday.

happy birthday my dear munch munch. *lol*

hello kitty has no mouth

i stumbled upon this page a few years ago here ... thought you guys might like it.

Hello Kitty Has No Mouth



Hello Kitty has no mouth, but she must scream. That is why her head is so big.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, yet she speaks the truth.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, so where has all the porridge gone?

Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet she has a tongue.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, but she keeps buying toothpaste.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, but she always eats her vegetables.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet I have no mouth.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet one of her listed hobbies is eating the cookies her sister bakes.

Hello Kitty wept for she had no mouth, until she met a man who had no face.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, but she still knows how to whistle.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, but it only takes her three licks to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie PopTM

Hello Kitty has no mouth to spite her face.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, and by this time her lungs are aching for air.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet in space you can hear her scream.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet mmmmph mmphhmmph mmphmppph!

Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet her mother can't get her to stop sucking her thumb.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, but man can she hum.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet she is sooooo hungry.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet her dentist always gives her a sugar-free lollipop.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet children are starving in Africa.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet she's always putting her foot in it.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet her breath is always minty fresh.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, and when she gets sick, her head swells to near bursting.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, and so she really didn't inhale.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet she is expert with a blowgun.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet her lipstick is prostitute red.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, but she makes that saxaphone come alive.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet she also has no shame.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet she often smokes in bed.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet she's bulemic.

Hello Kitty has no mouth but hey, cocaine goes up your nose!

Hello Kitty has no mouth, but she still enjoys a good cigar.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet she's always coughing up hairballs.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet I don't know why she swallowed a fly. Perhaps she'll die.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, yet she's the reigning 'Star Search' lip synch champion.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, yet she's the spokesperson for Sanrio.

Hello Kitty has no mouth, because "if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all".

Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet she bites the hand that feeds her.

4 weddings and my hang up

ivy got married last saturday. she was one of the first people i met during freshie enrollment in UP and fortunately we were blockmates. and became best friends. she's the first too among my closest college buddies to get married and to get me as a part of the entourage. i was all nervous lighting up the candle (took me two tries) and i had to turn the fan away from it upon gail's (ivy's hubby)instructions.


ang candle sponsor *bow*

i was there with my BF and it got us to thinking what would we do if we did get married (though i still shudder at the thought). even the people at the office got into the subject after i related to them what happened at the wedding. three people at the Talent Center are marrying next year. i still could not imagine marching down the aisle in my white gown with at least a hundred eyes on me. i can't see myself making ridiculous poses for pictorial sessions (yeah me the phone cam addict i know.) and i can't bring myself to think of the money that's gonna be involved for that one event only. gah! i mean saving up for so long then boom, you're married and you start saving up all over again. getting married means growing up and i dunno if i am all grown up for those kinds of things.

my mom is also bugging me on the subject. with my younger sis' engagement and my older sister's not so glamorous family situation, she has asked me if i am willing to go into an arranged marriage so that i could have a better life in the US. she doesn't want me suffering like my ate. guess what my answer is? well if you know me you'd say no. i am pretty independent and my mom knows that. and though she wants that she won't force me. it is after all my life. and moving to the states isn't always a better life. i dunno if i can still say that a few years from now but you can throw rocks at me later if i do change my mind. but i know she only wants the best for me and my sisters.

forgive me for babbling. there are a lot of complications in getting hitched i know. but this is just me getting started with the things at the top of my head. i have a lot of hang-ups really. one reason would be coming from a broken family and my mom raising us single handedly.

sabi ko nga kay ivy di ba pwedeng "surprise! kasal na kami!" na lang? hehehe...

on a lighter note

dropped by katie's blog just a few minutes ago and saw an interesting bit. pagaya katie ha. :)

timeline tag anyone?

10 years ago
i was a second year journalism student at UP Diliman, just discovering that i have a knack for computers (should have taken graphic design or programming), applying sa UP MCO, and crushing on arki. haha...

5 years
i jumped eyes closed into the entertainment industry, becoming a PR writer for you know where. i think curse ata yung nangyaring yun hehehe...

A year ago
my heart was getting broken by some jerk of a guy. discovered the singles thread sa pex. met new friends.

Yesterday
i had dinner with joy. and pondering what the future holds for us(abroad na ba joy?). yummy new york fries though.

Tomorrow
i'll be the candle sponsor at my college best bud ivy's wedding.

Today
i was pissed off by my landlord. missed my B. coffee in an hour with some of the f4fu mods(semi retired na ata kami lahat).2 deadlines still pending. hugging my B later.

I'm tagging: cherry, anche, nhila, ivy wu, and twinnie sophia.

highblood

can i just take a whack at my landlord, knock some sense into him?

he likes making surprise texts to me and my sister either he's dropping by morning or evening the same day. and whats annoying is that we have told him like a gazillion times that we both have work and no ones at home in the mornings. how hard is it to remember that? plus i'd appreciate it if he gives a day or two notice when he's coming by because the money we pay him doesn't grow on trees outside the apartment. i have to go to the bank and get it.

now tell me should i or should i be not pissed off?

cindy the perky

my sister bought home cindy the perky. i fell in love.


who in their right mind would name a fashion mag cindy the perky? well the koreans did.

the latest in korean fashion. i've been searching for mags like this high and low. but alas the mag can only be bought abroad. *sigh*


i'm so green with envy.

and my gosh, for the arirang deprived person like myself, it was exciting to see my fave korean stars like...


jo in sung and kim ha neul for a korean hair product

and


my favorite after BoA, Lee Hyo Lee for a cellphone brand i think.

it is her right?



and for my friendships out there, would i forget your favorite Rain?


rain rain go away...joke :)

what's sad about it too is that everything is in hangul. waahhh...
so to anyone out there who visits korea soon (kahit na sa HK pahanap naman...hint hint tina bebe hehe) make pasalubong to me ha.

my messed up weekend sched

i don't know how i will be able to juggle my weekend schedule.

1.) chelo's homecoming
2.) ivy's bridal shower
3.) work!
4.) my monthsary
5.) mallshow raket
6.) doing the laundry (3 weeks worth, i'm gonna run out of undies to wear if i keep postponing the chore hehehe...)

pano ko hahatiin ang katawan ko...can i just have the power to project myself someplace else? hehehe...forgive my prue haliwell delusions. :)

cha-ching

after hearing gwen stefani's song luxurious and seeing some friend's profiles in friendster, i can't help but be envious.

i've become a green eyed monster lately. which is bad. i've been wanting to have a better life but have i been doing to make that 'nice life' into a reality? err...not really.

i want to get this out of my system. its not very good i know.

but money does make the world go 'round.

kala ko ba simple ka lang? oo nga simple. pero...

ok back to my cave.

a friend's call for help

a friend and i have been having heart to heart talks lately. i've been trying my best to give her good advice in all the instances she asked me to. i feel sad at her predicament right now, feeling the joys of finding her first and true love yet being burdened of choosing between her parents and boyfriend. i know it doesn't matter if she listens to what we, her friends, have to say. ultimately she will be the one to decide if she will fight for her love or to let it go for the sake of her parents. i for one wouldn't know what i would do if i were in her shoes. i pray that she chooses the path that is best for her. and everything turns out FINE. (i shall cross my fingers too for more luck.)

i'm watching ETK right now and all i can say is "Magsabunatan na lang sila." mwahahaha...what direk joey said, we have said before. and it fell on deaf ears. and i assure you direk, nagsayang ka lang ng laway. they still won't understand. but seriously people who lack humility will hit the ground the hardest. the pride they carry will break them into a million pieces.

Harry! (spoilers)

The movie was great.

BUT...

1.) Where are the Dursleys in the opening? The Weasley's storming the fireplace?
2.) I was expecting to see more of the Weasley's and their eccentric home. And where's Percy?
3.) Dobby and Winky.
4.) The Veelas. They didn't even explain Fleur was half that.
5.) Bitin ang Quidditch game. Not much emphasis on Viktor.
6.) FYI for those who didn't read the book, Dobby the elf gave Harry the gillyweed not Neville.
7.) Sirius not being present during the final task and the capturing of Barty Crouch.
8.) No Ludo Bagman! The twin's jokes/pranks...am i right that Harry gave them his Tri-wizard prize money? They need that part to establish the twins' roles in the next films...
9.) Fleur and Krum could have more speaking lines. Hehehe. The film i think didn't establish them enough as the BEST in their schools. Mas mayabang yung dating nila sa book.
10.) Madame Maxime being a giant.
11.) The explanation of Voldemort's wand and Harry's.
12.) And how Barty Crouch Jr. escaped Azkaban.
13.) Hermione's expose of Rita Skeeter's being an animagus.

aherm. i still have a lot of comments but hey they couldn't squeeze all the 700+ pages in the movie right? The Quidditch stadium amazed me (bitin nga lang!) and The death of Cedric there moved me the same way the book did.

warning to those who did not read the book. you might get a little impatient (the movie is 2 and a half hours long) and you will be certainly confused in some parts.

agua...

i didn't know that i could be harassed with something as simple as water. yesterday my sister woke me up telling me there was no water coming out of our faucets. and she added a little later that she has managed to save me half a pail. great. just enough to wash my almost waist long mane. i go to our water meter, and after a few attempts to open the valve, i give up. it wouldn't budge. assuming it was the unpaid balance of our land lord due to the repiping of the town homes, i go to the treasurer of the home owners association to ask for an extension. well the deadline was actually the 15th, but i was ready to put on an act if i needed to. tough luck, no one was home.

so here i was hot and sticky, and realizing one of my greatest fears is about to come true. i had to go to work without taking a bath. oh joy. desperate times call for desperate measures. i go to the tank upstairs and open the faucet there. drip drip drip.malakas pa ang tulo ng wiwi ko. but i had no choice. i manage to get the pail half full after about 30 minutes or so. so now i had a pail full of water. yey. bath, dress up, off to the bank i go so that i can pay the said balance that night.

at the bank, after getting some moolah, i realize i was still a few hundreds short. if i get some from my money, i'd still have enough for fare the next day. oh-kay. office. slave away. reminding myself to leave early so i can catch the treasurer still up and about. then paranoid me thinking we might still not have our water turned on tonight finally decided to withdraw from one of my mom's secret accounts -- yeah right-- thinking that i would buy gallons of mineral water if ever (how sosi can i get). after writing down my super long account of my 'favorite' artist's phone interview on TV, i rush home stopping by the ATM machine outside the office. offline. drat. now i have to really go to megamall.

walkathon to megamall from the mrt and megamall to the tricycle terminal, i finally get home to find my sister cleaning house. i asked her if she checked if the treasurer was at home. "wala." was the masungit answer i get. furious with her and the situation, i go up stairs to my room to get the water receipt. i stop in surprise. i hear sounds of trickling water coming from the tank. water? i rush outside to our water meter to find our valve open. wha???!!! i return home puzzled.

then my sister tells me "nga pala may tubig na." ang saya.

put curse word here

as of today my separation pay check is still not available.

F@#&*U^****!

my spending power is in suspended animation. i need to start my christmas shopping damn it!

and my friends are rejoicing at their gratuity pay. good grief.

so much for gratitude.

"jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg!..."

this or that

i've just sprung a surprise question to a 'friend'.

he says "if you love someone do whatever it takes. no excuses."

my question to him "would you still pursue love even to the point of hurting yourself or others?"

you tell me the answer.

orange and strawberry

i have a new obssession.

istrawberi



and oreng.



my sister introduced me to the candy. i'm such a sucker for jelly candies. they also have a pakwan plebor but i have to try that next time.

salawahan

friday: party!
saturday: party!
sunday: outing?
monday: party o outing?
tuesday: party.
wednesday: party o outing?
thursday: outing.

party o outing?!!!
outing na nga. lekat na schedule to.

nagpapakabayani

what the hell am i doing in the office?

well obviously i am working. hehehehe.
but then it is no laughing matter. hay the perks of my old job. *sniff*
and i ate all alone sa pantry. cup noodles since nothing decent is open.

and know what? i'm leaving by 5:30 and i have still 2 more headlines to finish.
and here i am staring at my pirated juicy couture bag and contemplating if i should play another round of bejeweled hello kitty version.

@_@...*duh*

harry potter and the goblet of fire...

i can't hardly wait for the movie. this is my favorite harry potter book among the 6. the 6th one disappointed me by the way.

2 mos

2 months na pala yun impulsive thing na ginawa ko (and it wasn't the first time i've done something so impulsive). and sabi nga ni mama jopen you don't give up at the littlest things instead you work things out and compromise.

i saw this line from a book at another blog, from trx -- "I've realized that sometimes you get no second chance and that it's best to accept the gifts the world offers you." very applicable :)

on a lighter note ... i just came from e-pci beside the mesala offices in meralco. the teller who served me was named hetty. hetty spaghetti? remind me not to name any of my future kids hetty.

the only pic of hetty ispageti i could find on the net. hehehe.

quotes to ponder

sent to me by a friend of my sister. nice one fritz. :)

Remember the 5 simple rules to be HAPPY
1.)Free your heart from hatred
2.)Live simply.
3.)Free your mind from worries
4.)Give more.
5.) Expect less

No one can go back and make a brand new start. Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

God didn't promise days without pain. Laughter without sorrow. Sun without the rain. But he did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears and light for the way.

Disappointments are like road bumps. They slow you down a bit but you enjoy the rest of the smooth road afterwards. Don't rest on the bumps for too long. Move on!

When you feel down because you didn't get what you want, just sit tight and be happy because God is thinking of something better for you.

When something happens to you good or bad, consider what it means. There is a purpose to life's events, to teach you how to laugh more and not to cry too hard.

You can't make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to the person to realize your worth.

The measure of love is when you love without measure. In life there are rare chances that you'll meet the person you love and loves you in return. So once you have it don't ever let go, the chance might never come your way again.

We spend too much time looking for the right person to love or finding faults with those persons we already love. When instead we should be perfecting the love we give.

When you truly care for someone you don't look for faults, you don't look for answers, you don't look for mistakes. Instead you accept the faults, fight the mistakes and overlook the excuses.

mimi songs

i have been listening to mariah carey's emancipation of mimi cd. and 2 songs struck me the most...and the first one i want to share with rosie, chelo, donna and rest of you girls out there who have been in the same situation as me...and eventually i hope you guys will be singing song no.2 soon.

1
Stay The Night
[Mariah Carey]

You're kissing me
And saying I'm the one you need
To keep you warm
And lay with you tonight
Baby I feel the same way
I don't want to leave
Wanna hold you close
And feel your love inside
But I don't wanna play myself
Cause I know you're with someone else
And I don't need complications in my life
And I don't wanna fall back in
And get caught up in you again
Boy I'm so conflicted in my mind

[chorus]
You keep saying stay the night
Just let me rock you till the morning light
It's cold outside
And much too late to drive
You know I need you baby
I'm so lost without your love

Obviously, procrastinating just to be
Close to you a little longer now
It's hard for me to break away from you baby
Never could resist you
And I still haven't learned how
And I don't wanna be a fool
But it's hard when it comes to you
And I'm feeling vulnerable tonight
Cause I don't wanna miss the chance
Of reliving our sweet romance
Boy I'm so confused down deep inside
[chorus]

2
Shake You Off
[Mariah Carey]

[chorus]
I gotta shake you off
Cause the loving ain't the same
And you keep on playing games
Like you know I'm here to stay
I gotta shake you off
Just like the Calgon commercial
I really gotta get up outta here
And go somewhere
I gotta shake you off
Gotta make that move
Find somebody who
Appreciates all the love I give
Boy I gotta shake you off
Gotta do what's best for me
Baby and that means I gotta
Shake you off

By the time you get this message
It's gonna be too late
So don't bother paging me
Cause I'll be on my way
See I grabbed all my diamonds and clothes
Just ask your momma she knows
You're gonna miss me baby
Hate to say I told you so
Well at first I didn't know
But now it's clear to me
You would cheat with all your freaks
And lie compulsively
So I packed up my Louis Vuitton
Jumped in your ride and took off
You'll never ever find a girl
Who loves you more than me
[chorus]

I found out about a gang
Of your dirty little deeds
With this one and that one
By the pool, on the beach, in the streets
Heard y'all was
Hold up my phone's breakin' up
I'ma hang up and call the machine right back
I gotta get this off of my mind
You wasn't worth my time
I've leaving you behind
Cause I need a real love in my life
Save this recording because
I'm never coming back home
Baby I'm gone
Don't cha know
[chorus]

turning korean again

Late story telling, though i think you my readers would be interested to know that last friday me, cherry and eve rushed to makati to the post celebration of rica's birthday and tina's despedida. i mentioned this to rica that night, us treating her out to dinner is the right way to celebrate a friend's birthday not the other way around, the birthday girl giving the blow out.

stuffed to the hilt (a lot of us trying to figure out how to stand up with grace from our cross legged sitting positions)with yummy korean dishes and leah taking a pic of our footwear (guess which one is mine) we were then off to 'norebang', the korean term for karaoke bars. after teasing elle with the korean owner (who they say has a crush on her), the gang just went wild singing and DANCING (leah got attached to the tambourine btw) to each and every korean tune. Thanks to Uchi and her 'kodigo' we always get a score of 90 and above hehehe...we ended the night singing a classic karaoke number -- just once (i was suggesting my way though we might have ended up stabbing each other haha) and teasing elle again because we got a huge discount on the bill. Though it was Uchi's discount card that really did the trick. :) Hope we do that again sometime guys...

PS. to those who are curious if my BF and i are still mad at each other (and also to his benefit) we have already kissed and made up. hehehehe... thanks to the concerned peeps. love ya guys. :)

i dont know what to do with myself

it's not all sunshine and roses after all. we fought over the same thing all over again. and to top it off i just talked to chelo and francis about this nagging feeling that i am having.

and now i'm not in the mood to be sweet and funny at all.

lazy ass me

after a 'little' bullying, i persuaded my boyfriend to help me clean my room. *lol* it was a total mess with everything -- from my books, cds, former office stuff and clothes littering every space available. its embarrassing, he's the one who's spic and span then he gets himself a messy girlfriend.

Oh and he cleaned like 85% of the total mess. heeheehee. :)

but then again

^that's the newest phrase to hit town (translation: talent center).

i'm still at the 9th floor, contemplating on watching another vietnam rose episode or postponing the deed for tomorrow. i'm catching up with the present one. then its off to the next teleserye. probably kampanerang kuba. i'm making episode guides if you must know. :)

i was rereading some posts, emails and quotes a few minutes ago at pex and friendster and it got me thinking. about things. i was searching for the longest time, saying to myself that if i find that missing piece in my life i'd be complete. and here i am thinking i have found it, but lately i am feeling restless. there's gotta be something more.

i should be punished for being uncontented. i don't know what it is that i want.

irksome observations

some observations on the way to work, inside the MRT...

my tips to college boys and college girls out there (kolehiyala's listen up)

1.)If you are wearing a uniform, specially the white kind, wear a decent bra. do not wear colored underwear please. and if you really must do so, try to fix your straps and fasten your hooks in the right places. you might think you are looking cool but we can see right through, so please heed, it's ugly.

2.) Even if you are the most cool looking dude on campus it is a major turn off if your shoes are dirty. rubber shoes and sneakers are forgivable but black leather...buy kiwi for goodness sake. same goes for the girls too.

3.)Should you be bringing a lot of stuff to school, bring a bag to stow your stuff in. It is not a crime to bring one to class. we know you are geniuses but you need not display it. so you don't make fools of yourselves picking up paper at the MRT door or dropping your MRT ticket because you are trying to balance 3 tons of books in your hands. (it is extremely bothersome and irksome to pick up the flat MRT ticket on the dirty MRT station floor. it has happened to me)

4.) Do not put leave on conditioner while riding the train! Even though some stupid commercial says you can condition anytime, anywhere, it is not nice looking to do it in front of a hundred or so people riding with you in the same MRT car. promise boys won't get attracted to you by seeing you able to condition your hair while you are walking around the university belt.

5.) It is not shameful to bring an umbrella when it's raining. it is more embarassing for you to arrive in school looking like a drowned poodle. No one will laugh at you for not wanting to get wet walking in the rain. Now bringing a paper parasol during a storm, ah that's a different thing all together. oh and add to that -- holding an umbrella when the sun's out shining. and you are a guy.

foolish

i am a fool.
i am a fool.
i am a fool.

hmm...

i have noticed that eversince i stopped being the drama queen i am on my blog traffic has considerably slowed down here.

i wonder if people really do love the drama in my life. hehehe...angsty patty is in hibernation, too much work and much loved at the moment.

if there is something that i wanna whine about, its the fact that i'm again seriously lacking in funds. well, duh, who isn't?

uh,yeah. donald trump shut up. *lol*

i is sick

i feel sick. that's bad. third day on the job and i'm being sickly already. its like the northpole in the office. my hands are frozen. and i'm already on my first teleserye, watched 6 episodes, about 10 more to catch up with the current one. i'm two kinds of sick today. i'm also sick in the head. ask jiale. if you guys knew what i have discovered, you'd absolutely freak. at me. and shake me hard til my teeth fall off. ha.

randy and i are gonna swing by grace's today. she's getting discharged from the hospital on friday. hope she has a quick recovery. isn't the same having lunch without her.

and even if i'm feeling a bit down, i still got good news today. no worries now. thank God.

grammar oc

naiinis ako sa sarili ko. i see my grammatical errors when my work is already up on the net. *sigh*

and ang daming backlog sa work. nasinasalo ng new 3 man work force -- meaning me, flow and bianca.

gusto ko na umuwi! (actually pwede naman, nagpapakabayani lang ako.)

uy bago background!

...hahaha. yes it is my first day at work, new office, new computer and new faces.


see hindi na filing cabinet ang nasa likuran ko!

got in at 9 am (which is early for someone like me who is VERY used to coming in 1130 am or so)i'm still sleepy! and so much for first impressions. though i got in on time, nahirapan ako mag-adjust sa bago, meaning new sa paningin ko pero di sya new in the sense na first hand na sa kin sya at super slow (grrr!) kong PC. i want my old PC back hehehe...pero sadly asa former bossing ko na siya...

i am now watching ABS-CBN shows blow by blow so to my TV addict friends there, ayan updated na ako sa lahat ng entertainment programs ng ABS. i can now answer questions *lmao*. oh and i just wanna gloat, we have pinoy big brother here at the office 24/7 hihihi...who wants to come over and watch? :)

check out our site a bit later http://www.abs-cbn.com/entertainment. it's being updated at the moment but if you do visit the Star in A Million headline is by yours truly. *ahem*

happy birthday grace!

grace celebrated her 30th birthday at the hospital, her home for the next week or so. she finally had her back operated on and we are all happy that the operation was successful -- though she still feels very sore and can move only her fingers and toes. :)

some other things of note:

1.) its been a month already. whew. how time flies. but we feel as if we've been together for years now. finally i am happy. and i hope it stays this way for a time. if not forever(?) *lol*

2.) they gave in. they meaning the pinoycentral peeps. so yes i was a full pledged bum (but i wasnt technically since i'm still an employee of broadcasting til oct 2) for only 2 days. i just got back from my NBI clearance renewal, you get one for your employer to see if you are a convicted criminal yet you come out with a clearance with you looking like a convict on your picture. heh. i last applied for one in 2002 but nothing changed. i still looked stupid. *lmao*

3.) and all i can say is THESS...AJA! it may be a hard road ahead but sometimes you just have to take risks for you to find your true happiness. after all it is your life and not theirs. and remember we will always be here for you. if you need tips for you-know-what just let me know ;)

surprise surprise

surprise #1: guess who i bumped into at the doctor's office? jiale! we just laughed out loud when we saw each other. and of course the secret was out. hahaha...

surprise #2: i got a call again from the hr of the subsidiary i turned down. they are making a final offer later.

and is it just me or are there typos and grammatical errors in harry potter 6? am i just too grammar oc? *lol*

will update nicely soon :)

the bum and the restless

it's my second day staying home and i am BORED. i'm not very used to staring at the TV the whole day. at this very moment i'm at an internet cafe applying for jobs at jobstreet. gawd.

if i don't get out of this unemployed status soon i'm gonna go insane. any job recommendations?

:)

can't believe i would be feeling like this in the midst of the turmoil in my life right now. maybe it is the saving grace in this misery laden world of mine at the moment. if it weren't for this i would have checked myself in the mental institution right next door.

the pic came from paige pooler's bloggie. check her works out.

hay

that's the only thing i can say at the moment. that job in the offing? well the pay sucks and now i'm wondering if i should accept it. the work's harder, more responsibility and i have to go to the office earlier than the usual. and they would be at an advantage because of my experience as a writer and the contacts i have...

i really really need to find a job fast. my sister's contract at her job didn't get renewed and i don't want to add another burden to my mom who is already semi supporting me and my sister.

hay. maybe it's a sign i ship my ass off somewhere other than this company.

it's not in my stars to be a bum

i contemplated on things that i would do while being a bum. i'm not used to the idea since i have been steadily working weeks even before my college graduation up until now. my sister oriented me already, she being a professional bum for about 8 months. waking up at 12 nn then lounging around the sofa while heating up lunch. she then eats lunch watching some mundane noon time show or cartoons on nickelodeon. after that she has a choice between chatting on YM or sleeping again. if she chooses the latter, she wakes up at 5 pm, prepares dinner and waits for me to appear at the front door. she alternates the routine with chores and once in a while movie dates with friends.

but i think i'm not destined to be unemployed. because i'll be taking on a new job on the 19th. and i'm not moving very far. just a building away.

God is really good to me. :)

change comes in 3s

as i have mentioned the last time, i believe that change comes in threes. the countdown... 1) black hair 2) boyfriend and dadan...3) bye bye job!

yes, i'm part of that downsizing thing they are doing here at this god damn company at the moment and i dunno if my 100+ gross is gonna make a dent in their million dollar debt. hehe...

but then again i'm still blessed. i've got a loving BF, tons of friends who btw are scrambling all over helping me find a new job ASAP. and a mom who says its ok to be a bum once in your life.

i cried my eyes out the other night, it's hard to say good bye to the people and the place that i considered home for almost 6 years but as they say change really is unevitable.

this is my last entry here on this PC. but don't worry peeps. i'm ok now because i know there is something better in store for me out there.

pink august-sept

Buy Pink Magazine's issue this month. I have a JC Cuadrado article in it. *heh*

change yet again

ok. i'm changing my status in friendster. to in a relationship officially. :)

yeah i know you guys are gonna say "what the hell is happening to you?" or "are you going out of your mind?" or the classic "here you go again."

grace pointed this out to me eons ago. i'm not giving a chance to guys who are basically not in my league and letting guys in my league make a fool out of me. so there. i guess i'm trying out her theory. i jumbled all my ideals for a 'perfect' guy and i want to live a simple life now. not the paris hilton way but my way. i don't want the complications involved with my past relationships. no more.

i'm starting a simple relationship with this simple guy with the sincerest (hopefully) intentions for me.

black hair. boyfriend. what next?

wish me luck.

college

i'm sort of preoccupied right now. i've got this thing on draft for some time now so...pagtiyagaan niyo muna. :)

WHAT DO I MISS MOST ABOUT MY COLLEGE LIFE?

1. The lines during registration. I remember the days when i had to wake up at 3 in the am, get to school at 530 (all the way from bocaue yan ha) thinking i was one of the early birds. i was wrong. there was already a list and people slept outside the college (UP-CMC). but lining up was one big exciting party. always.

2. UP-MCO. one of the things that made me like college very much. my org since i was a sophomore and became membership committee head senior year. i thought i was a sorority girl but i was better off an org girl. :)

3. Long walks from AS to CMC then to the main library then back again. or walking from CMC to New Era when it's hard getting a ride sa SM North jeep or Pantranco jeep.

4. My comics writing, children's story writing, socio, humanities 1 and electronic news room classes. i never got lazy attending these classes. my humanities class was 7 in the morning and i regret coming to class always late.

5. The trees that line up the oval. there's just something very serene about it.

6. Camping and Nat Sci classes dahil sa crush naming si Carlos C. aka Archi. kung sino man po ang nakakaalam ng kanyang kinaroroonan balitaan niyo po kami. *lol*

7. Rodics, Beach House, Shopping Center, Lutong Bahay and Little Vinvin's. The latter tortured us to death during our breaks when we had long major classes sa CMC. No choice kumbaga.

8. Ikot and toki jeepney rides.

9. Econ 101 with winnie monsod. could i just say this class killed my average first sem of senior year?

10. film appreciation 101. also known as trips to SM City to watch a movie during the long break between Philo 1 (10 AM to 11:30 AM) and Journ 101 (1 PM to 2:30 PM). Needless to say madalas walang tao sa Journ 101 class namin.

11.Doodling on our desks sa CMC. sana andun pa si sailor jupiter ko hehehe...

12. Lantern Parade. The day i had my first drinking session. i remember drinking beer, vodka, martini and tequila all in one night at gay's house. helen getting drunk, myra laughing her ass off and fritzie making a booboo.

13. FOPC or Freshmen Orientation Program Committee. I remember my HS friend Tricia telling me that i'm so lucky to get into UP cause i will be able to watch Eraserheads whenever i want to. FOPC gave a concert back then with the Eheads headlining the show. and through the FOPC i met my future orgmates (who were our block handlers at the time) and dahil din sa FOPC nagpapakahirap ang MCO para sa points for recognition and pwesto sa steering committee.

14. trips to Katipunan. National Bookstore tambay ata kami ni ivy noon.

15. my pager! hahaha...

16. recruitment week sa org. then the membership. then the final rites. yung landslide ng applicants nung panahon namin. the drama. the siksikan sa tambayan pag GA. gosh i miss the tambayan. yung agawan sa logbook. yung tawanan about sa nakasulat sa logbook. yung mga may HD at nagkatuluyan at nagkaiwanan.

17. yung mga panlalait namin nina nei sa mga dumadaan habang nakaupo at kumakain sa may batibot sa tabi ni ate edith na nagtitinda ng fishball. i still remember jinky's classic question "Pangit ba ko?" *lol*

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

Maybe happiness didn't have to be something big, sweeping circumstances, about having everything in place. Maybe it was about stringing together a bunch of small pleasures. Wearing your slippers and watching the Miss Universe contest. Eating a brownie with vanilla ice cream. Getting to level seven in Dragon Master and knowing there were twenty levels to go.

Maybe happiness was just a matter of the little upticks- the traffic signal that said "walk" the second you got there- and downticks-the itchy tag at the back of your collar- that happened to every person in the course of the day. Maybe everybody had the same allotted measure of happiness within each day.

Maybe it didn't matter if you're a world famous heartthrob or a painful geek. Maybe it didn't matter if your friend was possibly dying.

Maybe you just got through it. Maybe that was all you could ask for.

i watched the adaptation of one of my fave books last night. i won tickets to the premiere and even if there was a slight change in the story (alright major. they did Lena's part different) the story still moved me like the book did. i dunno if they are planning to do the other books into movies too (there are 3 books as far as i know) but i wish they would. i recommend you watch it. oh and bring tissue. :)

major chick flick. but you learn lots. that's what i like about books/movies like this. It's about growing up and learning to understand what's happening to you then learning to accept it.

i for one know that i still have a lot of growing up to do even if i'm already 27.

ps. i totally loved bridget aka bee. she's tough and she's a hottie ;)

buks

igor tagged me yet again. (i should run faster don't you think?)

Total Number of Books Owned : i've bought books since 5th grade. i dunno the exact number. estimate it at 100.

Last Book I Bought: The Second Summer of the Sisterhood by Ann Brashares (sequel to The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants)

Last Book I Read : I reread One Hot Moment, a compilation of short stories (i like books like this :) )

Five books that mean a lot to me: The Travelling Pants series, Catcher in the Rye, the first Sweet Valley Twins book i bought (#16 Second Best), White Oleander, Family Album. The list might change cause i can't actually think now. hehe...

The 5 next brave souls (my chosen ones) to post this meme to their blogs are:
1. Gela
2. Leah Lao
3. Jopen
4. Ivy Wu
5. Dhing

spot the difference

btw...

i'm still in the office. finishing up my deadline. and watching rockstar inxs. i'm so frustrated. my head is bleeding from thinking up of too many verbs and adjectives. and distracted because of that (the thing that i don't want to fully talk about just yet). i have repressed that for a few days now and i dunno why its creeping back. i hate it, hate it, hate it.

mig's encore performance with jordis and marty blew me away.

this is my third entry for the day. first time.

...resist the attraction of bad habits.

that's what my horoscope is for today. and chelo i have a theory (yet again) that the problem i was talking to you about may turn into just that. my attraction to never ending bad relationships. i'm thinking it may end in another disaster. if it isn't already.

*sniff*

Seven

i was planning to do a rockstar inxs post today but igor tagged me so...

Seven things that scare you:
1. illness
2. lizards and slimy stuff
3. being alone
4. being hit by a car
5. SLCs (suspicious looking characters FYI)
6. bankruptcy
7. death

Seven things you like the most:
1. TV
2. the internet
3. boys :)
4. ukay ukays
5. music
6. fashion
7. anime

Seven important things in your bedroom:
1. cd player
2. clothes
3. cds
4. mirror
5. weighing scale
6. bags
7. kikay kit

Seven random facts about you:
1. It takes me 10 mins to an hour to get dressed, depending if i got my outfit together in my head the night before or i make a sudden change of get up in the morning.
2. I'm trying to catch up on animax hehe... can someone explain to me lunar legend tsukihime?
3. I write to make a living. I write for myself in this blog. :)
4. I'm a closet geek (according to quentin) but i'm not really hiding my geekiness. i just don't show it much because of the lack in oppurtunity *lol*
5. I'm thinking of getting a second job because writing ain't buying me stuff and paying the bills anymore. *sniff*
6. I like doing my assignments last minute. yes i like cramming.
7. I like kissing. mwahaha...

Seven things you plan to do before you die:
1. find my one true love (naks)
2. finalize if i want kids or not (mwehehe)
3. Have my own business
4. travel the world
5. swim with the dolphins
6. see my mom
7. get thin

Seven things you can do:
1.write
2.draw
3.dance
4.cut my bangs
5.trouble shoot tech stuff
6.boss my sisters around
7.make a fool of myself out of love

Seven things you can't do:
1. ride a bike
2. do practical jokes/tell a lie (im pretty bad at this, you should ask my friends)
3. be cruel to animals
4. eat crab
5. swim well
6. confronting people
7. do drugs

Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex:
1. smiling eyes
2. nice teeth
3. clean shoes
4. has a sense of humor
5. can understand me for who I am
6. great conversationalist
7. good kisser :)

Seven things you say the most:
1. Asus
2. Nyek
3. kainis
4. yeah
5. star magic...(when i answer the phone sa office wahaha)
6. assuming (joyride word for the month)
7. cuss word/s

Seven celeb crushes (whether local or foreign):
1. Kim Rae Won
2. Ken Chu
3. Michael Vartan
4. That CSI NY guy in glasses
5. Chad Michael Murray
6. Jonathan Bennet (mean girls fame)
7. Jo In Sung

Seven people you want to see to take this quiz:
1. Lelai
2. Thess
3. Quentin
4. Kalypso
5. Rose
6. Nhila
7. Chelo

bad

this loneliness is holding me back. i am fighting. but it has me struggling. i can't help but think. something is wrong with me. there are simply days when i can't deal.

i am strong. i can do this. but someone's stepping on my damn gown.

*waah*

silly me

silly me again. my sister bought home this silly hat. so i had to do a silly stunt. with her silly bear. hence the silly picture. i have no other silly adventures over the weekend, except maybe that one during eng's birthday party (tagay nga ng isang grand ma!) drunk silly me asking for a silly thing. getting it and ending with a silly nothing.

silly, silly me. :)

ye olde blog to a different post

i visited my old blog at my space. if you wanna see more of lokaret me circa march 2004 click here.

i had to laugh at my november 28 entry.

i placed a different entry here a while a go. but bumping into this poem(?) i've decided to post this instead.

Have you Ever Made a Girl CRY?

A girl won't cry easily,
Except in front of the person who she loves the
most, she becomes weak.

A girl won't cry easily, only WHEN SHE LOVES
YOU THE MOST, SHE PUTS DOWN HER EGO.
Guys, if a girl cries because of you, please hold
her hands firmly,
she's the one who would stay with you for the
rest of your life.

Guys, if a girl cries because of you, PLEASE DON'T
GIVE HER UP, maybe because of your decision, you
ruined her life.

When she cries right in front of you,
When she cries because of you,
Look into her eyes,
CAN YOU FEEL THE PAIN AND HURT SHE'S
FEELING? Think.

Who was the girl who cried with pure SINCERITY,
In front of you, And because of you?

She cries not because she is weak,
She cries not because she wants sympathy or pity,
She cries...
Because CRYING SILENTLY IS NO LONGER
POSSIBLE,the pain, hurt, and agony have become
too big aburden to be kept inside.

Guys,
Think about it,
If a girl cries her heart out to you,
And all because of you,
IT'S TIME TO LOOK BACK ON WHAT YOU HAVE
DONE,
Only you will know the answer to it...

Do consider it,
Because ONE DAY,
IT MAYBE TOO LATE FOR REGRETS,
It may be too late to say "I'm sorry".

To my friends...
Ponder this message seriously.
Don`t do this to a girl,
You may regret it for the rest of your life.
Maybe in your life,
"SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO LOVED YOU THE
MOST."

of rain and burger patties

it's another rainy day. i don't like what i am wearing today. i changed my wardrobe plans the last minute because of this darn rain. bye to the plans of wearing my black pumps, hello to my dirty adidas sneaks.

actually i have nothing to say today. except that last night during our usual joyride trip to muntinlupa, we decided to drop by wendy's along boni. i could have gone home because i was already right at my doorstep *lol* but who could resist wasting some precious sleep time? while thinking of what to order, we chanced upon the ad above. it's amusing to see my name, as a fast food entree. i thought all along that burger patties were spelled as pattie but i guess the singular form is really patty. i was even irked before, being referred to as Hamburger Patty. para akong merienda *lol* got used to that by now though,with the other Patty combinations they have thought of (anti-patty-ka, fatty fats, patty acids, patty cake, patty-ma, patty-pat, patty-bong, patty betita and patty laurel).

and what's funny was that you can get me for only 20 pesos more. now is that a bargain or what? :)

ps. after a few minutes into this post i googled the right spelling of the pattie/patty. well what do you know, both are right.

from merriam-webster online:
Main Entry: pat·ty
Variant(s): also pat·tie /'pa-tE/
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural patties
Etymology: French pâté pâté
1 : a little pie
2 a : a small flat cake of chopped food (a hamburger patty) b : a small flat candy (a peppermint patty)
3 : patty shell

spilling the beans

i'm having a hard time admitting something to a friend. i just can't explain it. the words are stuck in my throat. my mind is screaming the whole fucking sentence but my mouth is on mute.

but maybe the reason why i can't spit it out is that i haven't accepted that 'thing' myself. i'm in denial.

some firsts...

FIRST thing u did this morning: check my cellphone for the time (woke up 3 mins before the alarm.)
FIRST thing to do before going to sleep: brush my teeth
FIRST pet: goldfish. uh i don't remember the name anymore.
FIRST primary school: Our Lady of Grace Academy
FIRST alcoholic drink u had: beer from my lolo's glass. but yung real drink was i think vodka.
FIRST time u entered a bar: err i'm a late bloomer. 4th year college na i think.
FIRST time u were sent to the principal for disciplinary action:
never! -- i'm such a goody goody.
FIRST big crush: oh boy. oh boy.
FIRST record u bought: i think it was a new kids on the block tape if i'm not mistaken.
FIRST musical instrument u learned to play: err...cymbals?
FIRST concert u watched: concerts sa school. haha pathetic.
FIRST sport u played: habulan
FIRST terrible fight: i'm a peace loving person.
FIRST best friend: Lucille
FIRST friend's wedding u've attended: joy espinocilla's i think.
FIRST person who greeted u on your last birthday: jiale
FIRST collection: stationaries
FIRST time u saw a ghost: i haven't really.
FIRST roller coaster ride: geez does the fiesta carnival count? *lol*
FIRST ambition: i think it was to be a cashier. or a teacher.
FIRST job: editorial assistant na all around.
FIRST thing u bought with your 1st salary: clothes
FIRST thing u bought today: MRT ticket
FIRST person u hated: Sheryl Cruz hahaha
LAST name: Ramirez
LAST gimmick: Anna's birthday
LAST concert u watched: tagal na Black Eyed Peas pa ata
LAST book you bought: The Second Summer of The Travelling Pants
LAST thing you bought: green bayo jacket
LAST tv show watched: Battle Shinhwa on Arirang
LAST movie you watched: If Only
LAST song listened: Waiting In Vain MYMP version
LAST argument: on the cel, with my mom because of my eldest sister's probs -- again.

feel free to add some more first questions ;)

fell in love with a boy

Fell in love with a boy
I fell in love once and almost completely
He's in love with the world
And sometimes these feelings can be so misleading
He turns and says, "Are you alright?"
Oh, I must be fine cause my heart's still beating
Come and kiss me by the riverside,
Sarah says it's cool, she don't consider it cheating

the princess stares out the window, with joss stone playing on her cd player, high in the turrets of her castle. she sees cinderella's and rapunzel's castle in the yonder. she wonders. "how come they had it easy? cindy loosing a slipper and rapunzel just drapping her hair? how come i get to kiss frogs?"

Red hair with a curl
Mellow roll for the flavor and the eyes were peepin
Can't keep away from the boy
The two sides of my brain need to have a meeting
Can't think of anything to do
My left brain knows all of love is fleeting
He's just lookin for somethin new
I said it once before but it bears repeating

the princess sees sleeping beauty in her carriage, talking to belle. she muses some more. "how come aurora doesn't do anything but sleep yet she gets her prince charming? belle had it worse falling for a beast yet he turned out to be the gentlest prince of all? how come i get to kiss princes with a lot of princesses?"

Can't think of anything to do
My left brain knows all of love is fleeting
He's just lookin for somethin new
I said it once before but it bears repeating

"is it a curse?" the princess writes (or types that is) on her journal. "hmm..." the princess should be happy with all her princess friends and blessings yet there's this void, a space that's longing to be filled. "some day my prince will come..." the princess hums.

Oooh oooh oooh...

please bear with the mood monster some more.

brooding --- again.

the moody monster is back. :)

waah...

i'm making a fool out of myself again. put me in a straight jacket. argh. to the bat cave! and please throw the key away.

i relate

i watched ...ing for the third time last night. it was pretty late already but still i wanted to see kim rae won's gorgeous face. and i was in a brooding mood. 'twas a sad love story but watching it this time around made me think again. about my life. and love. lately romance movies seem to be talking to me. as if each word, of each line and each action are hitting me like a ton of bricks. i remember before i find movies like that cute. just that. but now i feel, i relate. i have realized that my journey has a long, long way to go. it hasn't ended, it has only begun.

i don't even know what ...ing means but now i can relate.

compare and contrast

why is that some people force the truth out of you then in the end get disappointed when they hear what you have to say?

then why ask me if you don't want a stab in the heart? or a bruise to your ego? why ask "who's better?", "im nicer right?" or "why do you like him and not me?" when all you are asking for is one big glass of cold water on the head?

why bring back the memories, raise up the dead? tell me why!!!!

im sooo pissed right now.

'mushy' left over

sister: lam mo may nakita akong kakaiba kanina.
me: (reading a mag) what?
sister: nakwento ko nga kina ms. g 'to...
me: ano nga?
sister: nakasakay ako sa FX. stop kasi, may nakita akong guy na naglalakad. sabi ko di naman siya mukhang pulubi pero isa lang yung sandals niya. nagtaka ako bakit. tapos napansin ko yung girl na katabi niya.
me: o tapos...
sister: may hawak na sandals yung girl. sira. tapos suot nung girl yung isang shoes nung guy.
me: ay...
sister: pati nga sina ms. g na pa "aww. ang sweet."

*toink*

snap out of it. :)

weekend dilemma

i was wondering where it was.
the weekend had me in panic.
but you wouldn't know.
i was all smiles.
deep inside i was praying really hard.
then monday came.
there it was.
i was never in my life
so relieved to see it.
im so stupid when it comes to numbers.
and counting.

oh yeah.
i lost one of my contacts this morning too.
and i had to rush to the mall to buy replacements.
only to find that they don't have my grade in extended wear.
had to settle for disposables.
argh. gastos.


and here i thought fitting under this parasol was the only problem i had.

and we strike again

"Tuloy na tayo sa Tarlac mamaya."

i looked up from the newspapers i was cutting up. "Serioso kayo?" i said.
"Oo, naman." was the answer i got.

and off to nhila's home town we went. it was a long awaited road trip of ours. nhila just couldn't make tiyempo with a road manager's schedule being hectic and all.


paano ba ipagkakasya ang isang taling okra sa 5? compute. compute. jerry di pa luto yan!

for a brief story of our adventure click here.

and during a stop over i just couldn't help but go crazy over my short cafe mocha. pagpasensyahan niyo na ang lapses ko. *lol*


finally a cup of mocha!

let's see if this picks me up...

you want some?

help i can't keep my eyes open...

hmmm actually, i'm awake now. not bad...

o siya sige tama na ang pagpapacute ko. *lol*

the sleeping pill

I did not take the sleeping pill but still i feel a little woozy. Staring ahead, going through his head and doodling in this chair is all the excitement this class could get. This room in this boring building has not enough doors to see outside -- people walking, interesting get-ups, cute faces. It has too high windows to count cars, passers-by or even sketch the trees outside.

His voice drones on in my head. Same lesson. Same words. No meaning. It's as if he's trying to brain wash us, with his thoughts of nationalism, the rich being the country's oppressors and all those things which really don't matter much to us. Instead of believing him, it makes me want to stick a finger down my throat and throw up. This class makes the fly on my desk more interesting to observe.

Glazed eyes go his way. It may not look empty but is filled up with things good than taking the sleeping pill.

Tired of all this talk makes my mind wander. Wander to the books I want to read, movies and shows to watch, even to the time when I'll meet and gab with my friends. Dreams are interrupted. The person in front of me wakes suddenly as her papers fall from her grasp, jolting her senses. The sleeping pill takes effect. It takes effect on her but not me. I have to control my senses.

It makes me contemplate. All I've heard in this class, I've heard before. It's nothing new, nothing learned. I wonder what he takes to make him the cure to insomnia nights.

Freedom is forty minutes away. I look longingly at the door, the key to my escape. The great insomnia cure even wears the same shirt on Mondays. Maybe he has a Monday shirt. And a Tuesday shirt. even a Saturday shirt. Zzzzz... an overdose of sleeping pills can kill. Could he kill us with all these things he tells us? Makes me want to drop dead before he does do us in. But I haven't had a taste of the pleasures of life yet. Do I call it foul play? with intent to kill? Please put stilts before my eyes.

I must swallow this sleeping pill. But not much. I want to be awake to take the other sleeping pill, my eyes wide open.

an unearthed composition of a very bored 19 year old Patricia, during her rizal class in UP circa 1998.

something, something...

my room. finally. kamsamnida uchi, unni.

oh-k. that's me obviously being silly. me, uchi, tina, cherry, ia and marie went on a korean immersion trip last saturday. i felt so deprived of the 'korean experience' reading stuff from uchi's blog, i just had to make time for it. for the full story read uchi's account of the whole day (minus what happened at glorietta 4 after she dropped us off. secret nanamin yun nina tina hehehe.)

here's another something for you guys. from leah naman this time. is this who i am? whatchu think? *lol* comments very welcome. :)

JULY PEOPLE ARE:
-Fun to be with. (aherm)
-Secretive. (well to an extent. various people who know me know a variety of my secrets)
-Difficult to fathom and to be understood. (hmm not really. or am i?)
-Quiet unless excited or tensed.(uhm. yeah :) )
-Takes pride in oneself. (yeah in a way.)
-Has reputation.(err good or bad? hehe...)
-Easily consoled.
-Honest. (ana says i can't keep a straight face when i lie!)
-Concerned about people's feelings. (very.)
-Tactful. (alam ko naman kung kelan bubusina.)
-Friendly. (sobra na nga ata minsan.)
-Approachable. (but people tend to get intimidated first time meeting me.)
-Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. (an understatement!)
-Moody and easily hurt. (boo-hoo. such a cry baby.)
-Witty and sparkly. (oh i am sparkly alright. haha.)
-Not revengeful. (yes, bahala na si lord sa inyo.)
-Forgiving but never forgets. (ahh. this is very me.)
-Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. (umm remember the lunchbox i just bought?)
-Guides others physically and mentally.(uhh what kind of guidance? *wink*)
-Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. (i see the best in people.)
-Caring and loving. (aherm.)
-Treats others equally. (well i do tend to have favorites sometimes...)
-Strong sense of sympathy. (mamahalin kita kahit sino ka man. yaks.)
-Wary and sharp. (mahilig magduda ba yung wary? hehe...)
-Judges people through observations.
-Hardworking. (me? ulk.)
-No difficulties in studying. (well i somehow passed math 1 hahaha...)
-Loves to be alone. (not all the time. just to think.)
-Always broods about the past and the old friends. (yes i miss my HS friends)
-Likes to be quiet. (i like observing!)
-Homely person.(only for a few days. i get restless staying at home for 2 days straight.)
-Waits for friends. (yeah kahit maiksi ang pasensiya ko.)
-Never looks for friends. (i never look intentionally. im happy i find them in the most unusual circumstances.)
-Not aggressive unless provoked. (i dont like confrontations. tatahimik na lang ako.)
-Prone to having stomach and dieting problems.
-Loves to be loved. (who doesn't?)
-Easily hurt but takes long to recover. (hmm. one day lang ok na ko. haha plastic...)

drama platinum

another lesson learned from a korean drama. was watching love's pinwheel last night with my sister. a holiday episode, the characters of the show were present at a sunrise festival and each of them made a wish as the sun rose over their town's horizon. one of the main characters, young-gyu makes a silent wish that goes something like this:

" Please make my heart's desires come true. But if you have a hard time fulfilling it, instead banish this longing inside of me so that i won't look for it anymore."

i wish i have the courage to say that.

tag ur it

3 Names You Go By:
1. Patty
2. Pat
3. Patresha

3 Screen Names You Have Had
1. eventuallypretty
2. prettyjupiter
3. gnp

3 Physical Things You Like About Yourself
1. hair
2. eyes
3. gifted chest :)

3 Physical Things You Don't Like About Yourself
1. nose
2. legs
3. skin

3 Parts of Your Heritage
1. filipino
2. chinese
3. spanish

3 Things That Scare You
1. loneliness eating me up
2. loss of any family member
3. not having enough financially

3 Of Your Everyday Essentials
1. mobile phone
2. TV
3. lipstick

3 of Your Favorite Musical Artists
1. No Doubt
2. U2
3. Joss Stone

3 of Your Favorite Songs
1. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - U2
2. What If - Cold Play
3. Fell In Love With A Boy - Joss Stone

3 Things You Want In A Relationship
1. passion
2. honesty
3. friendship

3 Lies
1. love is unconditional
2. instant ayos ang buhok mo pag gumamit ka ng rejoice
3. bato ako

3 Truths
1. i am lazy
2. only thing constant is change
3. not all frogs turn into princes. some are just plain frogs.

3 Physical Things About The Opposite Sex That Appeals To You
1. smiling eyes
2. nice hands
3. contagious smile

3 Of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. watching TV
2. surfing the net
3. taking self portraits (haha)

3 Things You Want To Do Really Badly Now
1. travel the world
2. see my mom
3. learn another language

3 Careers You're Considering/You've Considered
1. advertising
2. web/graphic designing
3. be a MTV VJ (kaya lang i think i'd have a lot of scandals harhar)

3 Places You'd Want to Go For Vacation
1. usa
2. japan
3. south korea

3 Kid Names You Like
1. deirdra
2. dominique
3. lucas

3 Things You Want To Do Before You Die
1. travel
2. find the love of my life
3. swim with the dolphins

3 Ways That You Are Sterotypically a Boy
1. i can use a nail and a hammer properly
2. i like reading FHM
3. ask jiale for the third one

3 Ways That You Are Sterotypically a Girl
1. i like pink
2. i love shopping
3. i'm a romantic

3 Celebrity Crushes
1. michael vartan
2. keanu reeves
3. kim rae won

blog muse missing

i've been lamenting to cherry yesterday that i can't think of anything to write on my blog. its as if my blog muse has been used up and bled dry. she said "e di write about stuff happening to you today." well that's the problem. i'm doing nothing. i should be rejoicing about that right but i'm so bored. oh well. here's a few ramblings.

the boat is sinking
thats the term i used to describe the country's recent predicament over the gloriagate scandal (umm patty is this you talking about politics in your blog? *scratch head*). everyone at the office and even over the TEC yahoogroup feel like bailing ship, migrating to the US, Canada, Australia even as far as Cayman Islands (and can someone enlighten me where that is? im too lazy to google it). and while everyone is talking about this i picture myself lizzie maguire like, a cartoon with a stick proding at it. i don't know what's wrong with me lately but i can't seem to bring myself to the thought of leaving the country right now. i have the strong desire to improve my life but i haven't pictured myself somewhere out there as of late. when i graduated from college i sooo wanted to go abroad but now the urge seems to have been placed in a file in my head amongst other things i want to do. i need a push in the right direction...BUT for now what i need to figure out is which direction this entry is going to, so on to the next topic.

more taxes?!!@#$@&^**!*ss
cherry also dropped a mini bomb on my other wise boring day. as a contributing writer for abs-cbn publishing, it is now required by the BIR that i register myself and have a recipt to give the office everytime they get my services. bummer! it's a hassle for me, specially now that writing jobs for abs publishing is a scarcity (due to the on going pagtitipid measures) and i get like 2-3 assignments a year! err. as if i am not paying enough taxes already. *fume*

isaw trippin'
since we can leave the office a little early than the usual, the aalis na gang decided to take a trip to lydia's grill. where's that you ask? it's in greenpark village in pasig. wow layo namang trip yan right? the reason we went there is for the yummy bbq, isaw and other grilled stuff tita lydia (joseph bitangcol's mom) sells at their small shop in the village. it was an isaw trip alright (had 5 sticks *burp*) and C2 apple. *sigh* it was fun going on another road trip with the aalis na gang. and we got to catch up on things. and i got teary eyed with the concern they had for me. i didn't know that. jerry even asking for ... ah never mind. thanks guys. *teardrop* :) at least you didn't abandon ship or washed your hands off me like some peeps i know. *sniff*

aww...nuff of the drama. and obviously we're done with the archive sorting awhile ago. i had enough time to post these nonsense over here. heh.

so would you rather have the angsty patty? or the bored patty?

stuck

i'm stuck sorting newspaper clipping archives dated since last year. my hands are dirty, my feet are aching (wearing wooden clogs fyi) and its raining cats and dogs (i wish it were men though hahaha). got a 6pm deadline and we have 2 balikbayan boxes to sort through plus this year's clippings. malapit ko nang patayin ang artistang gumawa ng gulong to mwehehe... *sweet smile*

i'll update this thing later. just wanted y'all to know.

ang sarap ng coke

nothing beats an ice cold coke in can. i've succumbed to the temptation. :)

i just want to thank this one person who made me smile, laugh and sigh a lot *lol* yesterday. took a day off from work (sulking and channel surfing all day)and he just took the blues away. i know he won't be able to read this, he doesn't even know of this blog's existence but i want to thank him here just the same.

sarap talaga ng coke.

2 days after...

...i'm nursing a cold. *sniff* i've been feeling a bit down since saturday.


sneezed 5x the minute i stood up from bed

...i bought myself a gift. yes i used my plastic money once again. i'm buried deep in debt. but i just couldn't resist buying the bayo bag i've had my eye on for so long. it was on sale at 50% off! my long search for a green bag is over. :)


of course it's green!

...i went on my japanese mode. i just couldn't resist cutesy japanese stuff hence i bought this lunch box. turning japanese again -- kawaii!!!


posing very japanese like if i should say so myself. lakas ng trip.

...today is spaghetti day! my most requested spaghetti. people here at the office remember it everytime my birthday comes along... hehehe... ana's whining, she didn't get here in time for lunch so she had none. oh well there's always next year :)


it's too late for me to take a pic of the spaghetti now so this pic is lifted from the net. *lol*

another year older

If you read this, even if I don't speak to you often, you must post a memory of me. It can be anything you want, it can be good or bad, just so long as it happened.

i remember posting this before. but due to some messed up situation it got buried somewhere around here.

it has been a long journey, my 27 years and i want you, the one reading this to answer.

think of it as a gift for me.

tawa naman diyan...

im trying to cheer myself up with...other things. :)
im trying to have positive thoughts about it.
thinking fast forward? that's what makes me expect something more.
which i don't like doing anymore.
cause see where i ended up in?

bukas pa po ang birthday ko. dami na kasing well wishers. greet me tomorrow not today hehehe. i'm trying to stop time in its tracks so don't push it forward. :)

flood

I keep giving in, when I should know better.

nakikisama talaga ang panahon.

Flood
Jars of Clay

Rain rain on my face
It hasn't stopped
Raining for days
My world is a flood
Slowly I become
One with the mud

Chorus:
But if I can't swim after 40 days
And my mind is crushed
By the crashing waves
Lift me up so high
That I cannot fall
Lift me up
Lift me up-when I'm falling
Lift me up-I'm weak and I'm dying
Lift me up-I need you to hold me
Lift me up-and keep me from drowning again

Down pour on my soul
Splashing in the ocean
I'm losing control
Dark sky all around
Can't feel my feet
Touching the ground

repeat chorus

Calm the storms that drench my eyes
And dry the streams still flowing
Casting down all waves of sin
And guilt that overthrow me

repeat chorus

Lift me up-when I'm falling
Lift me up-I'm weak and I'm dying
Lift me up-I need you to hold me
Lift me up-and keep me from drowning again

the good, the bad and the ugly

the weekend was good, bad and ugly.

good: was able to fix some financial problems.
bad: financial status still not stable.

good: was finally able to hang out with him.
bad: was stupid to hang out with him and got treated like a second class citizen.

good: was able to down 5 bottles of beer.
bad: got wasted, had to be taken home and kissed by someone else, then had to cry at our doorstep out of frustration, trying to find the right keys to let me in, and the situation i have gotten myself into.

good: was able to talk to friends over soup and tequila.
bad: had to cry buckets in front of them. got me swollen eyes.

good: fantastic friends. the future looks a bit bright.
bad: another emotional rollercoaster.

good: birthday coming up
bad: another birthday, another heartbreak. i like collecting heartache gifts since i turned 25.

and where's the ugly part? i have a feeling things are gonna get uglier before they get better. another busy week ahead.

semi-happy today

watched war of the worlds last night with a friend. i almost didn't say yes but good thing i did. it got my mind off things. that movie was so tiring. seemed like i was running with tom cruise and dakota fanning the whole 2 hours. the movie is something you should see with someone you can hold on to. yung tipong pwede mong sakalin at palupaluin *lol*. or someone na pwede mong pagsamantalahan. harhar. i was expecting the movie to be a little bit like independence day, then i got the shock of my life --- don't worry i won't be spoiling the ending for you guys. i just didn't like the way the film ended.

my day's off to a good start. got one of my dilemma's semi-solved. i got only one deadline left. i'm gonna be out of the office later. hopefully my day's gonna end well.

wow july na pala. how time flies.

question

is it because i'm simply stupid?

or

he's just plain cruel?

it so damn hurts

tears are falling.
as i write these words.
strike two.
i'm such a fool.
i feel sick.
i want to fade away.

of cereals and first impressions

i was waiting for cherry's post on our jc cuadrado shoot for pink last wednesday but since she is super dooper busy i guess i have to make do with the only pic i have (which i had to beg for btw). breakfast is the theme for the day and at last i get a writing assignment again.


fruitloops poster gel.

it was fun really, JC being the wacko that he is. but i guess he left a sort of bad impression on the staff because he was err...super late. he isn't a bad guy really. he's charming actually. its just that we had to wait for 45 minutes for a 15 minute shoot. oh well part of the job anyway.

which brings me to making impressions. yeah when i meet someone for the first time i make sure i get on the good side of that person, smiling politely, being bubbly yet respectful at the same time. i thought it was a sure fire formula, but that isn't always the case a lesson i learned last saturday. it doesn't matter really if you put your best foot forward because there are people who are just very narrow minded.

it hurt me to know that someone who i assumed was already a friend, thought very different of me. i was the first one who introduced him to the gang so i felt i was pretty ok in his list but then again sabi nga nila maraming namamatay sa maling akala. i was earning negative points on his score board which i didn't know we, as his friends, have. harmless comments i made, my being open minded about certain things and a joke were all taken against me. and what gets me ticked off is the fact that i was judged at face value (like a book ---kidding!). i was branded when in fact he doesn't know who i really am.

i was thinking of keeping quiet whenever he is around but then again why should i adjust to him? this is me, take it or leave it. i couldn't believe that i, ms. congeniality became a victim of prejudice. deep wow. haha. seriously, i usually find good in people i meet but now i have come to a bitter conclusion that some people are just born assholes.

more lessons

nice one ms. raven.

"That's why there's such a thing as FUBUs and friends with benefits," he said. "Because usually women don't demand for more than they deserve. Once they like the guy, they're willing to settle for what they can get, cause they're afraid to lose him."

"And of course, for a guy, this is perfect. He gets the benefit — without the commitment," Michael continues. "He doesn't need to get to know her better or work for it. He gets what he wants for free anyways so why not?"

do you read this my friends? chelo? jiale? leah? anna? rose? patty? oh that's me pala *ahem*.

nice one. nice one...

haiku

one of the fab 5 of queer eye taught this guy how to make a haiku. it made me think about a haiku i did during my elementary days. i couldn't remember exactly how it went but what i still remember is the feeling of accomplishment i had with that poem.

so here i am attempting another one.

by the gate we stood
in the silence of morning
fleeting happiness

i'm trying to think happy thoughts. and that's one of my nicest moments. even if it was for a short while :)

blue is the theme of the day

nakikisama ang weather talaga. it's raining cats and dogs outside. and i'm wearing my blue gamusa pumps that i bought for 250 sa galleria.


i fear na baka magkakalas-kalas siya when it gets wet *lol*

the guys (as in the males of the group) at pex are a little on the senti mode a while ago. isa pa sila sa nakikisama sa akin. i'm feeling blue again. told you the sunshiny feeling wouldn't last more than a week.

i have a theory. this is the normal me. melancholy. me being exhilarated, now that's abnormal. hmm. i wonder what more theories about myself i'd come up with while i'm having this pensive state of mind...

not feeling well

i think i'm coming down with something. my hands feel cold. my stomach feels queasy. i wanna lie down and sleep.

pano na ang pj party tom? :(

a lot like love part deux

even if the movie a lot like love got me into 'mukmok' mode, as i call my baddest of senti days, the first time i saw it, i went to a second screening for the sake of commiserating with chelo. it was a small favor for a girl who i usually rant to about the aches, pains and joys of my current love life sitch.

the movie didn't hit me that hard like the first time, maybe because my monday date and its effects are still rubbing off yesterday (and admittedly til today). luther even asked me for like a third time if until when my sunny beam would last (jiale and chelo also asked the same thing thank you very much). i tried real hard not to be too happy in front of chelo *lol* we never do learn do we girl. and i just couldn't believe you swallowed your big fat pride for that guy who doesn't deserve you. yeah they always tell us we deserve someone better cause we are after all pretty special. yet we settle. wahahaha. anyway who am i to lecture, we have diffrent strokes though we both arrive at the same results *lol*. happiness is a choice they say, but what will you do when the very thing that makes you happy is also the same thing that makes you feel miserable?

anyone who, can touch you, can hurt you, or heal you.
anyone who, can reach you, can love you, or leave you.

-------------------------

among the 4 of us (luther, chelo, sally and moi), i was the first one to get a cab. i'm used to riding cabs alone, my work requiring me to spend time in the office till the wee hours in the morning. i'm usually quiet, assessing either what happened the whole day, the things to do tomorrow or important thoughts i've kept at bay because of work. i'm so used to this time to think that i was a bit pissed at the cab driver that night. he kept on talking. and talking. and talking. from dissing the car in front of us (siguro daw pokpok dahil 2 bading ang kasama and may tattoo yung girl), to his nieces (na babambuhin daw niya kung magpatattoo), to gma and erap (kawawa naman si erap, nakakulong din dahil sa jueteng) and guessing if i rode on his cab before. i don't mind a discussion once in a while but man, sana with sense naman! i just kept uttering 'uhuh' and smiling just to stop the conversation. but he kept on yakking to the point of insisting he knew where my street was. i was holding my "manong marunong pa kayo sa akin bahay namin yun" speech back cause i'm not also the type to get into long discussions. so i just said straight and turn right, paid him and got off.

if i was a manga character i would have had that big sweatdrop on my forehead or that gray cloud above my head. buti na lang mas malaki pa rin ang percentage ng pagiging masaya ko para masira ang araw ko. *whew*

pigging out, one-wayed and a promise kept

the last weekend was another eventful one. friday, gelo celebrated his 30th este 28th birthday pala (the kuya of the group asar talo lagi sa age niya). the whole 'patotim' gang pigged out on pasta and pizza at d marks in greenbelt. giant pizza slices! yummy mozzarella (kahit ini-scrape ni phoebe ang lahat ng cheese sa taco pizza niya). loud music sa background and ang init! syempre all out laugh trip nanaman the whole night though there were scattered discussions of the latest political sitch and the traffic jam it has caused over at the guadalupe area. and thank you again birthday boy for letting me and kiel force you to drive us home *lol*

saturday, the pex gang also had something to celebrate. chelo was free at last. all out gab fest naman dito. but it wasn't the only thing on the agenda. there was an EB too, and naughty girls and boys that they are, planned to one-way the get together with me, luther and jeanet as bait. BUT it turned out they weren't the only ones with the bright idea. they got one wayed too. hahaha...evil weevil thoughts kasi.

monday, had to drag my ass to a pictorial my boss sprang up on me. it's a holiday supposedly. but someone who finally kept his word made me light hearted the whole day. and happy the whole night. mr. and mrs. smith was a blast. thank you. :)