Monday, February 28, 2005

dirty

you might think im doing a christina aguilera ditty but no im not. its dirty literally.

it was moving day over the long weekend. nope i didn't move out of dear mandaluyong. my sis and i just moved a few blocks away. my mom insisted that we do so. she has been telling us to do that eversince she left, but you know me, the lazy ass that i am (my aunt who came over to help us pack a few days a go said to my sister that my room hasn't seen the broom or the dust rag lately hehe) ... so finally i was convinced to get my dirt out and move to a new place.

picture crazy me has not yet taken a pic of the new place. things are yet to be repainted, fixed and put away. unless you wanna see my tons of clothes in garbage bags or strewn all over my bed. remember my old room? small box right? well my new room is smaller. *lol* i had to put some of my stuff in the hallway cause i would have to sleep downstairs if i force everything in the room. even the landlord was surprised when he saw our stuff. he was like " Ah, dami nyo palang gamit. 2 lang kayo di ba?" uhrm. yeah.

whats funny too was we repainted stuff and we sometimes forget that we just did. so we clean up. forget we painted a wall and end up touching it. then clean again. pati hair may paint... ugh. it was a cycle. i wanted to fall asleep on my feet. and 3 days na we're not done yet! and im spending na my money on furniture and renovations...naku, naku, naku...

so back to work. pero paguwi back to cleaning.

ok im posting something sad ulit. i can't help it. sigh. seems like i've been doing this(sighing) for some days na rin. sometimes i forget but sometimes i still remember the pain. a friend heard about it and told me "you have a prob pala...bat di ka sad?" well i am. i just don't show it too much. nakakahawa kasi... :) anyway a lot of people who knew about it asked me a few times "in love ka na ba?" i couldn't answer a straight yes or no. i couldn't understand din kasi. maybe i was in love with the fact that someone liked/wanted me. yeah i guess that was it. and it hurts too because i was wrong. my heart was wrong and my mind was right all along. i lost and i'm not too used to that feeling.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

some funny frustrations

1. last night we went on a joy ride again. after our baclaran sojourn (inaya ko talaga sila) we were so hungry and everyone was craving for chowking... sa dami ng chowking na nadaanan namin di kami nagstop kasi may isang tao na nagsabi na meron sa may south super na shell (hi gracia). sobrang naglalaway na kami dahil may mga billboards pa kaming nadaanan. but lo and behold! walang chowking. (guni guni lang ni gracia haha) so ending namin sa mc donalds. but the crispy noodles lingered in my mind! the very next day...lunch ko guess what... haha e di crispy noodles. *lol*

2. im a frustrated soccer player. i don't watch games. i dunno one shot from another. or root for becks sa real madrid (i know beckham because of posh spice thank you haha). i just find the game real cool. before in college i almost took up soccer for my PE, pero takot ako sa araw so i vittoed the idea. hanggang ngayon i still have urges to learn and play. hehe. kaya naisip kong magsoccer outfit kuno ako today...


yes this is my so called soccer out fit. my herbench tee says "coed soccer team" and im wearing my addidas rubber shoes. feeling.

3. as you might have noticed mahilig ako sa self portraits. di ko rin ma-explain yan actually. maybe im just really vain. or frustrated artista din kaya ako? and i want to be famous? harhar...pagpasensiyahan nyo na.

i'll give my autograph later. *lol*

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

some stuff i just remembered

alright. sige. enough of the sad sad stories. sabi ko nga ayoko ng nakakarelate ako sa love notes *lol*

anyway i just wanna tell you guys a story. a story of what happened to me on my way to work. which totally pissed me off. and buti na lang di nasira ang buong araw ko.

as i was riding the escalator to the mrt sa may shaw station, i felt the back of my right green flip flop sticking sa laylayan ng pants ko. and then i say to myself "bakit naman matatapakan ko siya, i just had it cut sa tailor..." i had a sinking feeling of what it was. yes. bubble gum. yuck. i had to get paper in my bag, remove it and fold pa ulit my pants just so the remains (yes meron natira) wouldn't be seen. eew. and to think this is a pair of newly laundered jeans. hindi siya repeat take note as in bagong suot. people sometimes are really just so inconsiderate. and ang baboy. dikit ko kaya yun sa buhok nila? mwahaha...

next thing that peeved me off was seeing someone spit. as in the loud spitting kind of sound pa ha... another eew. sabi ko pa sa sarili ko poor plants. alam ko biodegradable naman ang laway but then again plants have a life too. eh kung ikaw bigla ka na lang ganunin gusto mo rin ba? (yeah yeah im being too gross and graphic now teehee).

i just wanted to tell you these. para naman sa susunod maisip natin na di lang tayo ang nabubuhay sa mundong to. wow so deep. hahaha...

bitter? not really.

leah lao (i have to define which leah, i have a lot of leah friends) sent this to me just last night. thanks. i'm feeling a lot better now as each day passes. but i'd like to share this to a lot of people who read my blog. i know you guys can relate.

nga pala and you know what? he didn't even react to my goodbye. i guess i was really right after all.

"Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow"

Anyone who has gone through the agony of losing someone she/he loves so much will still wish against all odds to have that love back again. But, sometimes a love lost is a love gone forever. No amount of hope can bring back to life a relationship that just died a natural death. Set yourself free. Let your heart spread its wings and fly. Remember, it may rain for 40 days and40 nights, but it will not rain forever. One day the pouring will stop and there will be plenty of branches where you can find rest. One of these is where you will build your nest and start over again.It's never too late.

Remember, you may find love and lose. But when love dies you never have to die with it. Remember, you cannot be a redeemer all your life. The best way to weigh a relationship is out it in the test of fire. We all fall and make wrong decisions but our blunders are meant not to bury us deep in misery but to teach us the valued lessons of life. Loving is always a learning process. With love, we learn how to care and sacrifice. We learn to share and reach out.We learn to be unselfish and give more than we can. And when everything doesn't end well, we learn how it feels like to fall and get hurt. But learning doesn'thave to end there. After our fall, we strive to get back on our feet and move on. This is where we learn that Life doesn't end where our heartaches begin.

There is no future in a relationship of lies and selfishness. It's true, there is life in love. But there can still be life even after losing love if you leave the past behind and let your heart heal and give you the chance to find yourself again. The success of a relationship lies not only in the beauty of its beginning but in its consistency. Make a choice not on impulse but a decision based on a healthy balance of mind and heart. Let us always remember that. Happiness is not a matter of destiny but a matter of choice. There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon becomes a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than friendship. We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves.

You don't have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself. You would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving. Don't let your heart run your life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well. Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow. If you lose love that doesn't mean that you have failed in love. Cry if you have to, but make sure that tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the apst left you with. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you. And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime. A woman on the rebound could easily fall for sweeping emotions and be made to falsely believe that she finally stumbled upon the right man when what she just found is only someone to cover up for the love she lost. A man who makes a promise with words and not with actions may never liveup to fulfill them. It's true that love can wait forever but it is crazy to stubbornly hope for someone who doesn't even care to understand how we feel.

Love makes us see things through rose-colored glasses. Most of the time, we fail to recognize the danger sign that light up along our way. This feeling you have nurtured for so long isn't healthy anymore. You must realize that you haveto let go now before it consumes you and your sanity. There is always a time to think and stop. A time to be sensible and not allow our hearts to rule over ourheads. You deserve to be happy not in the arms of a man who keeps you waiting but in the arms of someone who will take you now and love you forever. If loving a person who is attached to someone else is a crime, then maybe, many of us would have been jailed long before we realize what its consequences could have been.

Loving someone is never a sin. It is what people do out of love that sometimes makes it all wrong. The selfish desire to want that person is what makes it a sin. Don't think only of your feelings for real love doesn't have a place for selfish people. When there is love, there is always sacrifice. When we love someone, we never easily give up on that person. Even if we get hurt badly we always try to find a way to ease the pain and learn to understand and forgive. Loving too much doesn't hurt. It is when we expect this love to be reciprocated that we begin to seek approval and acceptance of the things we have done and when we are taken for granted and rejected, we curse the very same love that we once freely and happilyoffered. Don't waste your time waiting for someone who never really cared about how you would have felt. Open your heart again and give yourself a chance to find the man who would make loving worth the pain and the sacrifice.

Just like anything else, our love grows weak and dies if not taken cared of. It can keep up with pain only to a certain extent. Beyond that, it withers without any hope of recovery and soon dies. God wakes us up in the midst of a storm to teach us a lesson. He takes away people we love so we can learn to value love itself. He makes us cry so hard so we can see clearly when we open our eyes. He makes us bitter so we can realize that there is genuine happiness if we think only our needs and not of others. relationships built on jealousy and selfishness are doomed from the very beginning. The hardest part of losing love is letting go and moving on. Most of us cry endlessly over things that could have been but never will be. God allows us to experience pain to make us stronger and better persons. He will see us through the most trying anddifficult times in our lives and only if we put our trust in Him can we learn to find joy in our tears and happiness in our sorrows.

In many failed relationships, separation comes as the inevitable choice but moving on always proves to be twice as difficult as letting go. Sometimes, the end of a relationship is emposed on us, but our choice to hold on is always beyond the control of circumstance. Letting go is a decision that can never be dictated on us. It is a resolution we make to ourselves. Acceptance is the key to a new beginning and Time is the healer of all wounds. Even if the storm casts its fearful shadow, there will always be light after our darkest and loneliest moments. There is always a hope for those who believe. There is always a chance for those who try. Losing someone we love may not be a loss at all. But a blessing because someone more deserving is yet to come. There is nothing wrong in expressing our feelings to someone we love, but we must always be sensitive to the signals that tell us when to rationalize and be sensible.

There comes a time in our lives when we would fall for someone who wouldn't be as interested as we are because his attention is focused on someone else.There are many times when we love but don't get loved in return. There are times ahead when the sign ahead tells stop but we still stubbornly head on. We would say our love is unconditional. But if we still subconsciously seek acceptance and assurance from the people we care about.

"Being in love can be the most wonderful thing we could experience but if the feeling begins to consume our whole beings then we have to stop and let our minds and not our hearts dictate our actions. Only when we learn to accept our fate and understand the meaning of our failures can we truly go on with life without having to look back and cry over the things that could have been but never will be."

Monday, February 21, 2005

new friends, new discoveries.

para malibang (as i have described some of my activities after the breakup or whatever that was to a few people).

so i joined some people from pex in a 'field trip' to tagaytay. you might be going "ha? di pa niya kilala yung mga yun sumama na siya..." i'm so very used to meeting people on line. mapa date man yan, fannish activities *lol* or buying stuff. and they were friendly people naman. and we have this sort of connection sa threads. kumbaga sila yung clique ko dun.

anyway, to make the long story short nagenjoy kami.


view from leslie's

after lunch sa leslie's we decided to go swimming. my sister told me nga when she learned we were going swimming "Nye ang lamig kaya dun!". Yeah we were one crazy group. But would we pass up this opportunity? No! Kaya kahit na ngangatog kami sa lamig go pa rin.


nung una si luther lang ang thorn among the roses sa pool...

But there were more crazy stuff to come. The drinking spree we had lasted till 4 in the morning with francis and quels drinking a glass of baileys for me (ang sweet naman...nye!) and me drinking a glass for chelo who was about to vomit sa sobrang paginom dahil sa pagiging isang "unlucky me" niya.


aww aren't we pretty. 4 pex girls and 1 friend (l-r) chelo, chelo lee, me, badette and era.

During the Q & A portion though, i learned a new image of me that i didnt know that i projected. and hindi ko rin alam kung matutuwa o maiinis ako sa discovery na yun...right chelo girl? Sobrang saya kasi tayong kasama hahaha... you think he still has a score to settle with us? hmm... at masaya siya dahil andun tayo... oh he still doesn't know how cruel girls can also be. tayo pa? *lol*

so ayun nga ang ending ng weekend ko, nalibang nga ako. :)

Friday, February 18, 2005

im gonna be alright

me and thess have this collection of mp3s here at the office that we'd play over and over again. and now just after listening to i'm gonna be alright by Jlo, the lyrics just suddenly struck a chord. it was as if she was telling my story.

I'm Gonna Be Alright

It's funny cause for a while
I walked around with a smile but
Deep inside I could hear voices telling me this ain't right
Don't you know it's not for you
I always knew what I had to do
But it's hard to get away
Because I love you I just tried to stay

I used to say I couldn't do it, but I did it
After telling everybody that I wasn't with it
Though it brings tears to my eyes, I can feel it
And I know inside I'm gonna be alright

Friends of mine say to me
They say you got control over me
You're not alone, I played a part
I saw the way you were from the start
Could I expect so much from you
You had a girl when I first met you
Did the best that you could do
Now I realize I can't change you

Said I wouldn't walk away
Somedays I want to stay
But leaving you is what I need to do to be okay
Never thought it would be true
Me livin' without you
But now it's time for me to make a move

mending

im not angry anymore. ganon naman ata ako talaga. i can't stay mad at people for a long time.

but it's time to let go.

it was a hard thing to do. but it had to be done.

the mending process will start any minute now.

Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go
-Herman Hesse

Thursday, February 17, 2005

hinding hindi daw.

i dont know how to begin this post.

hindi ko alam if i want to thank or curse the people who invented friendster. dun ko nakita ang masaklap na katotohanan. he lied. if that new pic of him and her together was a pic of a couple not getting along then galit galit din siguro kami sa pictures ko with my talent center friends.

buti na lang ivy was with me when i went to baclaran kundi baka humagulgol ako dun. and buti na lang may american idol kagabi. nadistract ako kahit papano.


this is me bago ako mag mukmok sa room ko. see how plastic i am...

pero once i was alone in my room, and the lights were out, hala, the tears just wont stop. ang sakit isipin no akala mo eh okay kayo yun pala he was just fooling around. natanong ko din last night why there are people who know they are hurting people intentionally yet they continue doing what they are doing. and whats funny amidst all this was 2 songs kept running on repeat in my mind... alicia keys' karma and that new coke commercial jingle, with the line "malay mo, andyan lang ang hinahanap mo..." eh what is it that i'm looking for ba? ay naku lalong sumasakit ang ulo ko.

so here i am. brand new day. mas singkit than before


san tambak na eyeliner, pwede na ako sa feng shui part 2. double ni kris aquino, yung hahabulin ni lotus feet ng taga.

may natutunan? meron. nadala? di ko masagot. di mo masabi pag dating sa love. kasi dati sabi ko hinding hindi. pero nangyari pa din.

kaya wag magsasalita ng tapos. but be ready for the consequences.
ouchee.

salamat pala sa mga extension ng buhay ko, my tc barkada, blogger friends and tec friendships ivy, tin, leah, jops, si joy na una kong na ngawaan and 2 of my online friends darwin and rose. thanks for listening and for being there.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

ice cold

para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig.

memory

got this from kai's blog.

If you read this, even if I don't speak to you often, you must post a memory of me. It can be anything you want, it can be good or bad, just so long as it happened. Then post this to your journal & see what people remember about you.

to those who read my blog please do comment. i wanna know :)
good or bad it doesn't matter.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

now he makes me laugh

"office ka na?..."

how funny, yesterday he made me frown over hearts day. today he has me laughing...
yes thess. mahaba ang hair ko. *lol*

"...opo kaya wag kang magulo."

natatawa talaga ako.

Monday, February 14, 2005

the sweetest thing

happy heart's day. isn't it nice that everything's smelling roses...for some people that is. hey im no ampalaya today. in fact im in a smiling mood today. i have lots to tell, what happened over the weekend.

Bora...Bora, Bora...
No i didn't go on a vacation. wish ko lang. it was the Bora, our new sitcom, press conference last friday, the reason why i was in my summer get up (though i don't really have summer get ups. takot ako sa araw.)


it was actually freezing during the press con. but we had to project we were feeling the warm beach breeze on our faces wehehe...

Yes joy, sa kangaragan ko nalimutan kong magpa-pic kay piolo. at yes alam ko ding sawa na kayo sa pagmumukha ko haha...pagbigyan niyo na ko. yan lang ang libangan ko. anyway after piolo, diet and jericho made beso good bye to me *aherm* and to the other staff there, we were feeling a bit lazy, so we waited for 4pm and off we went to mr.m's bday pakain sa Bora taping at studio 10. i found this star on one of the birthday cakes really intriguing so i got it and silly me even made a wish after tacking it on the corkboard beside my desk.


nice lighting sa elevator! twinkle, twinkle little star...

ba...be...bi...bo...buuuu...
after that ate nenet bought us to this manghuhula in marikina. it was my first time to have my fortune told. i don't really believe in 'hula'. i believe that i make my own destiny, na hindi pa siya laid out para sa akin. then again wala namang mawawala di ba? so go na rin. well to make the long night short (5 am na ko nakauwi dahil sa paghihintay namin) of course the much awaited part was the love life prediction. we had a laughing spree, sa sobrang, i don't know accurateness or preposterousness nung mga hula para sa 2005 love life namin. thess got herself a deadline, grace would have a bigger family and i would be two timing daw... asus ako pa? two timer? wahahaha...and to top that off i would have a flourishing love life BUT i did not hear if there was going to be a serious one... puro sabit dito sabit duon. heck sa dami ng sabit parang what am i chopped liver? *lol* but really it was as if i only deserve left overs and problematic sons of...beaches :)

tada...happy hearts day! AND same to you.
well sige na nga. mabait nanaman siya last friday and sunday. he was sweet and all. siyempre i was beaming mind you. but adding to that shiny glow was my hope torturer re-surfacing. sabi ko nga kay joy, tsk tsk iba na ang in demand hahaha...well all for the wrong reasons yun nga lang *toink* but you know what before di ako nagdalawang isip to see him sabay nitong si current (maybe that was what ms.manghuhula was seeing?harharhar) but now, it's getting harder to say yes to the boys on the side. gawd maybe my days as a player are over...NO! *lol* kidding aside, naiinis ako kasi nagiging serioso na ako when for all i know he is still playing with me. hay life.

today i greeted si current ng "happy heart's day!" and all he could say was "same to you". very sweet di ba. argh.


it was a pathetic text message. hay life.

but then again my online friend really made me smile by answering my laments to him with this...

"haha.. i guess you have to change fortune tellers. Pick the one that tells you that you're gonna find Mr. Right soon. or in your case.. the Mr. Right is gonna be free soon. i think you have to take a look at your situation in a more positive way. Your guy won't be risking anything if he didn;t find anything extra ordinarily special in you, right? so.. you must be a very special girl. You should be careful not to let guys fall for you too much. "

i dunno about that last part *lol*.

but it's the sweetest thing.

Friday, February 11, 2005

here i go again...

im feeling melancholy again. i want to go out so that i won't think about him and me (i just can't bring myself to the term Us kasi wala namang Us) and yet i wanna wallow in sweet, sweet sorrow. argh.

i dunno why i subject myself to these things. ilang beses ko na ring naitanong yan sa sarili ko. they say i should just drop it. dati sabi ko madali lang naman yun. now it's hard.

di ko na alam talaga. if only i could throw away this damn celfone. or i-off man lang.

ang hirap ng di mo alam kung san ka lulugar. you can't ask questions. you can't say how you really feel lest you reveal more than you should.you can't say some things dahil baka magmukha ka lang tanga, di mo magustuhan ang marinig mo or malamangan ka. it's hard being vulnerable. ang galing ko magpayo na take risks so you don't have what ifs or regrets. pag risk taker ka din pala, masyado masakit pag laging head on collision. kaya marami ring takot. ako kelan kaya ako aatras?

ano ka ba patty sala ka sa init, sala ka sa lamig.

...But feeling good about someone does not always mean that the person is right for you. Life is always a choice between what we want and what we need, between what is acceptable and not, between what is right and what is wrong. There are many times when we are consciously aware of the right path to take. But as we think more of ourselves than of others, we intentionally ignore all the danger signs and follow the road to our own destruction...

dyusme pati ako nakakarelate na sa lovenotes... erks.

tago muna ako sa shell ko para magmukmok.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

on my own

since chinese new year just passed a few days ago, one interesting fact i learned about my sign, the horse, was that people born under this sign are very independent. yet they need people to be constantly about them.

i believe this is true. specially now that i'm working, almost living on my own and approaching the 3-0 mark in a couple of years *yikes*. i like doing my own thing. if my mom would let me i can probably live by myself. i'd survive. i believe that i'm not the clingy type of person too, who need to attach themselves too much to other people that their life would completely revolve around them. but i like having people around, to talk to, relate to and listen to. i couldn't be a loner. No. i thrive on communicating with people.

kaya lang what's negative about this kind of attitude, being independent is that people tend to think that youre strong and can do almost anything. like for example this thing between me, my mom and my siblings. my mom since she is inthe US has left all the responsibilities of the family with me, overseeing the house, taking tabs on our financial stuff, and looking after my sisters. it's alright actually that she finds me resposnsible enough but sometimes i want to say "mom i have a life too." and what i hate most is that my elder sister seems to be needing a lot of looking after instead of the other way around. and she's married with kids at that. it irks me most of the time, sige na nga hindi lang most, all of the time.

so lately with the independence and freedom that i have now, i tune out some of the people in my life. and developed this 'things will take care of themselves eventually' attitude. which is sometimes bad i know. but its just that i feel that i have 'taken care' of things since i dont know when, even when my mom was here i felt that i was taking care of her. And according to my other sign which is cancer, the crab likes taking care of the home, people, nurturing others. maybe that's why i'm still putting up with all these. though its taking a toll on me.

i want someone else to do the looking after.
and for someone to look after me instead.



Monday, February 07, 2005

of ukay-ukay's, pink ballet pumps and some unfortunate events

what an eventful weekend that was.

off to UK i go...(ukay ukay to you and me)
as you guys all well know, i go uhhh shopping when i get a bit sad, lonely -- alright depressed. and then my sister goes "uyy...maraming bago sa ukay ukay!" so off we go last saturday sa may galleria. i was overwhelmed. i just couldn't resist the nice jackets (bought 2), skirts (bought a super nice silk silver skirt) and blouses. grand total? P1,200. that's about 12 to 13 pieces of very good clothes. bargain talaga. :) me and my sister combed through racks and racks of clothing. pagdating sa ganito my patience really kicks in. pag may tiyaga talaga me nilaga hehehe...

perfect pink shoes

but the real reason why i wanted to go shopping was i wanted to find my perfect, pink ballet pumps. ayaw ko kasi ng flats. the heels add regality *aherm* and poise kasi. i like standing tall and good shoes make the whole get up complete. ayan lumalabas nanaman ang pagka fashionista ko. anyway i thought gale was the best place to search for these shoes, and within my budget. but sad to say there were 'sort of' shoes lang, not the types that scream your name when you see the right pair. so next stop was, where else but megamall. i almost found my pair sa cinderella. kaya lang it cost 700 so dapat ko syang kalimutan hahaha... i also went to SM department store, muntik na din yung isang pair. though flats siya and mule type, it looked nice on my feet. but last pair na siya and a bit dirty so i said wag na lang. my perfect pink shoe is waiting out there for me *lol* ... oh and in search din ako ng black pumps...grabe na ang addiction ko sa shopping.

and then some unfortunate events
first: since it was the weekend, i gave my sister a break from the cooking duties at home and did it on sunday. what's bad is that ang dami kong talsik ng mantika, as in red angry welts on my arms and fingers. buti na lang i'm wearing a cardigan so di siya kita today. and i know the red angry welts will soon turn into brown ugly spots. *yuch*
second: i forgot to buy my rabbit a water bottle.
third: i forgot to pay my citibank bill on it's due date. so may late charges nanaman ako. argh.
fourth: he didn't text me for 5 days straight. and when he did, sabi niya he was in a retreat and was feeling a bit sad, lost. i was lost a few times myself. madalas the feeling comes during my birthdays eversince i hit the age of 2-5. and of course ang babaeng dapat dra-drama siya ang nadramahan. and he offered to talk about it. i said yes. the big question is kelan kaya yun?
fifth: eto today. i wore my new white skirt, with black undies, thinking it wouldn't show dahil may lining ang skirt. ending it was obvious if you stared long enough in other words = mahalay. *lol*

case in point
1.when it comes to the things that i love, mahaba ang pasensiya ko. (uuyy ano yang revelation na yan?)
2.when it comes to fashion i don't settle for anything less but when it comes to the love department, i was ready to settle with what was offered to me...(what a realization!)
3. And sometimes you just don't realize your mistakes till it stares you right in the eye or someone tells you point blank. (ana thanks for pointing out na mahalay ako *bow*)

hay malapit na ang valentines...



Thursday, February 03, 2005

para mas masaya

para mas maganda naman yung entry ko for today...para di naman nakakaiyak hahaha...

[Name 3 schools you went to]
*Our Lady of Grace Academy
*UP Diliman
*NIIT

[Name 3 of your favorite vacations spot]
*Bahay
*Baguio
*Hong Kong (kung libre haha)

[Name 3 things in your wallet]
*Money
*ATM Cards
*receipts

[Name 3 things you always wear]
*Duh...underwear?
*Earrings
*My necklace

[Name 3 of your closest friends]
*Ivy a
*Prends
*TC peeps – di kasya lahat sa 3 numbers lang so collective na yung last 2

[Name 3 of your favorite songs]
*Just A Girl by No Doubt
*With or Without You by U2
*Ke Shi Wo by Ken Zhu

[Name 3 favorite places to shop]
*Ukay-Ukay
*Bayo
*Powerbooks

[Name 3 THINGS you love to do]
*Watch TV
*Write
*Dance

[Name 3 most valuable things]
*My computer
*My nokia 3650
*TV

[Name 3 of your fav color]
*pink
*green
*black

[Name 3 foods you love]
*fried chicken
*carbonarra
*strawberries

[Name 3 recent expenses]
*Food
*call card
*charm bracelet

[Name 3 of your fav cartoon/fictional characters]
*Sailor Jupiter
*Pucca
*Wakefield Twins (haha)

[Name 3 goals in 2005]
*Get more rakets
*stable love life!
*get that 27 inch waist line…

[Name 3 plans for next week]
*do the laundry
*buy pink ballet flats
*not eat haha

[3 people in your mind right now]
*Nhila
*Mom
*Tj

[3 things you're going to do in an hour]
*pretend to work
*check email
*sort the kalat sa table ko

[3 words/phrases you like to use a lot]
*"Nyek!"
*"Ganon…"
*”Talaga Lang…”

[3 things you didn't like last year]
*a certain person
*financial problems
*na-memohan ako

[3 things friends do to u very often]
*tease me about my plethora of boylets (kala lang nila)
*tell me their problems
*kuhaan ng intriga at chismis (ngunit wala silang mapiga)

[3 things u do when you're sad]
*I go shopping
*I blog
*I look for someone to talk to

[3 things you do when you're happy]
*I smile a lot
*I say a prayer of thanks to God
*Pay it forward, try and make someone happy too.

just here

the mood says it all. i'm just here. i'm sure you've said the same thing to alot of special people in your lives. there are some who appreciate you. some pag alam na lagi kang nandyan take advantage of you. some though forget you even exist.

well right now that's what i feel. i'm just here. existing in my own little space in this whole wide world. may nakakaalala kaya na i'm here?

ano ba ang bottom line ng dramang ito? *lol* he knows i'm just here. sometimes he appreciates me.some days he takes advantage of me. and sometimes i feel he forgets that i'm here waiting.

life is so exciting. :)

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

nothing much here today...

for almost a year now, my bangs have been a trademark of mine. it added to my turning japanese-chinese-korean look. most of the time i do the cutting myself, kasi one time pinagalaw ko sa salon, nainis lang ako hehe...

but today i wanted to look kinda different. so i hid my bangs.


i can see clearly now! hahaha...

so do i look diffrent? not too much i guess. *lol* i don't know what to write today. hmmm...nothing much has happened to me eversince monday night. and ang mga guys talaga. masaya siya when he learned of my theory. haha... hmmp. batukan ko sya dyan eh. *lol*

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

i told you so...

i was right. may mga kamalasan, kabadtripan at kainis-inis na pangyayari kahapon.

ang hirap pala ng nagiging masyadong masaya. 3 days in a row yun eh. and in one night nabawi lahat yun. that's why i keep telling myself don't wallow in happiness too much. is that so much to ask for anyway?

but i'm still on that 'que sera sera' thing. and batman is still someone i rely heavily on. *lol* maybe i should change super heroes... wonderwoman? superman? spiderman? "bahala na si spiderman..." has a nice ring to it. mwahaha...