Thursday, June 30, 2005


is it because i'm simply stupid?


he's just plain cruel?

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

it so damn hurts

tears are falling.
as i write these words.
strike two.
i'm such a fool.
i feel sick.
i want to fade away.

Monday, June 27, 2005

of cereals and first impressions

i was waiting for cherry's post on our jc cuadrado shoot for pink last wednesday but since she is super dooper busy i guess i have to make do with the only pic i have (which i had to beg for btw). breakfast is the theme for the day and at last i get a writing assignment again.

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fruitloops poster gel.

it was fun really, JC being the wacko that he is. but i guess he left a sort of bad impression on the staff because he was err...super late. he isn't a bad guy really. he's charming actually. its just that we had to wait for 45 minutes for a 15 minute shoot. oh well part of the job anyway.

which brings me to making impressions. yeah when i meet someone for the first time i make sure i get on the good side of that person, smiling politely, being bubbly yet respectful at the same time. i thought it was a sure fire formula, but that isn't always the case a lesson i learned last saturday. it doesn't matter really if you put your best foot forward because there are people who are just very narrow minded.

it hurt me to know that someone who i assumed was already a friend, thought very different of me. i was the first one who introduced him to the gang so i felt i was pretty ok in his list but then again sabi nga nila maraming namamatay sa maling akala. i was earning negative points on his score board which i didn't know we, as his friends, have. harmless comments i made, my being open minded about certain things and a joke were all taken against me. and what gets me ticked off is the fact that i was judged at face value (like a book ---kidding!). i was branded when in fact he doesn't know who i really am.

i was thinking of keeping quiet whenever he is around but then again why should i adjust to him? this is me, take it or leave it. i couldn't believe that i, ms. congeniality became a victim of prejudice. deep wow. haha. seriously, i usually find good in people i meet but now i have come to a bitter conclusion that some people are just born assholes.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

more lessons

nice one ms. raven.

"That's why there's such a thing as FUBUs and friends with benefits," he said. "Because usually women don't demand for more than they deserve. Once they like the guy, they're willing to settle for what they can get, cause they're afraid to lose him."

"And of course, for a guy, this is perfect. He gets the benefit — without the commitment," Michael continues. "He doesn't need to get to know her better or work for it. He gets what he wants for free anyways so why not?"

do you read this my friends? chelo? jiale? leah? anna? rose? patty? oh that's me pala *ahem*.

nice one. nice one...

Tuesday, June 21, 2005


one of the fab 5 of queer eye taught this guy how to make a haiku. it made me think about a haiku i did during my elementary days. i couldn't remember exactly how it went but what i still remember is the feeling of accomplishment i had with that poem.

so here i am attempting another one.

by the gate we stood
in the silence of morning
fleeting happiness

i'm trying to think happy thoughts. and that's one of my nicest moments. even if it was for a short while :)

Monday, June 20, 2005

blue is the theme of the day

nakikisama ang weather talaga. it's raining cats and dogs outside. and i'm wearing my blue gamusa pumps that i bought for 250 sa galleria.

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i fear na baka magkakalas-kalas siya when it gets wet *lol*

the guys (as in the males of the group) at pex are a little on the senti mode a while ago. isa pa sila sa nakikisama sa akin. i'm feeling blue again. told you the sunshiny feeling wouldn't last more than a week.

i have a theory. this is the normal me. melancholy. me being exhilarated, now that's abnormal. hmm. i wonder what more theories about myself i'd come up with while i'm having this pensive state of mind...

Friday, June 17, 2005

not feeling well

i think i'm coming down with something. my hands feel cold. my stomach feels queasy. i wanna lie down and sleep.

pano na ang pj party tom? :(

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

a lot like love part deux

even if the movie a lot like love got me into 'mukmok' mode, as i call my baddest of senti days, the first time i saw it, i went to a second screening for the sake of commiserating with chelo. it was a small favor for a girl who i usually rant to about the aches, pains and joys of my current love life sitch.

the movie didn't hit me that hard like the first time, maybe because my monday date and its effects are still rubbing off yesterday (and admittedly til today). luther even asked me for like a third time if until when my sunny beam would last (jiale and chelo also asked the same thing thank you very much). i tried real hard not to be too happy in front of chelo *lol* we never do learn do we girl. and i just couldn't believe you swallowed your big fat pride for that guy who doesn't deserve you. yeah they always tell us we deserve someone better cause we are after all pretty special. yet we settle. wahahaha. anyway who am i to lecture, we have diffrent strokes though we both arrive at the same results *lol*. happiness is a choice they say, but what will you do when the very thing that makes you happy is also the same thing that makes you feel miserable?

anyone who, can touch you, can hurt you, or heal you.
anyone who, can reach you, can love you, or leave you.


among the 4 of us (luther, chelo, sally and moi), i was the first one to get a cab. i'm used to riding cabs alone, my work requiring me to spend time in the office till the wee hours in the morning. i'm usually quiet, assessing either what happened the whole day, the things to do tomorrow or important thoughts i've kept at bay because of work. i'm so used to this time to think that i was a bit pissed at the cab driver that night. he kept on talking. and talking. and talking. from dissing the car in front of us (siguro daw pokpok dahil 2 bading ang kasama and may tattoo yung girl), to his nieces (na babambuhin daw niya kung magpatattoo), to gma and erap (kawawa naman si erap, nakakulong din dahil sa jueteng) and guessing if i rode on his cab before. i don't mind a discussion once in a while but man, sana with sense naman! i just kept uttering 'uhuh' and smiling just to stop the conversation. but he kept on yakking to the point of insisting he knew where my street was. i was holding my "manong marunong pa kayo sa akin bahay namin yun" speech back cause i'm not also the type to get into long discussions. so i just said straight and turn right, paid him and got off.

if i was a manga character i would have had that big sweatdrop on my forehead or that gray cloud above my head. buti na lang mas malaki pa rin ang percentage ng pagiging masaya ko para masira ang araw ko. *whew*

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

pigging out, one-wayed and a promise kept

the last weekend was another eventful one. friday, gelo celebrated his 30th este 28th birthday pala (the kuya of the group asar talo lagi sa age niya). the whole 'patotim' gang pigged out on pasta and pizza at d marks in greenbelt. giant pizza slices! yummy mozzarella (kahit ini-scrape ni phoebe ang lahat ng cheese sa taco pizza niya). loud music sa background and ang init! syempre all out laugh trip nanaman the whole night though there were scattered discussions of the latest political sitch and the traffic jam it has caused over at the guadalupe area. and thank you again birthday boy for letting me and kiel force you to drive us home *lol*

saturday, the pex gang also had something to celebrate. chelo was free at last. all out gab fest naman dito. but it wasn't the only thing on the agenda. there was an EB too, and naughty girls and boys that they are, planned to one-way the get together with me, luther and jeanet as bait. BUT it turned out they weren't the only ones with the bright idea. they got one wayed too. hahaha...evil weevil thoughts kasi.

monday, had to drag my ass to a pictorial my boss sprang up on me. it's a holiday supposedly. but someone who finally kept his word made me light hearted the whole day. and happy the whole night. mr. and mrs. smith was a blast. thank you. :)

Friday, June 10, 2005

some funnies

ok ok. since everyone's begging for a nice sunny post well here it is.

yesterday was the press launch of star circle batch 13. i've been part of these launches since batch 9 (which included heart evangelista and rafael rosell to name a few) and you can say that i'm a little bit used to the chaos that happens at these events. anyway after the presentation, some of the road managers, handlers and i managed to snag a few minutes of 'fun' time.

the unfortunate subject of the next few lines is good friend leah aka lelai reading FHM *lol*

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lelai: hmm...this article by asia agcaoli looks like an interesting read...

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lelai: OMG! ganun pala yun (getting engrossed eh...)

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lelai: masubukan nga to...

i'm just kiddin' folks. lelai's a good girl. the article's only for stock knowledge. *lol* my shoulders ached for lugging my bag around almost the whole day, for fear of losing some stuff (and for someone to snag the copy of the cosmopolitan mag i myself snagged from my boss haha). but all in all it was a fun night.

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tired by the bar. the dark circles under the eyes from lack of sleep. i should start drinking. haha.

oh and yeah, cherry tell jane can i please just buy her patty shirt? puhlease? :)

Thursday, June 09, 2005

had enough

i was supposed to upload our pics from the catalog pictorial last monday but with the work load yesterday, i forgot and remembered it when we were about to go home. anyway here's a preview of photos to come.

cowgirl. yan ba ang empty? yeah fake yang smile na yan. have a cow man.

talked to yet another guy friend. i knew the answer already but i have to hear it again...and again...and again. to accept the truth fully. the ache to remember the lesson. i should have stayed hidden in the box. behind the jumbled words.and smiley faces.

it seemed so right. but i was wrong. i should have had enough.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005


i'm supposed to be finishing a deadline by 10 am and here i am blogging.
i feel so empty today. i dunno why.
i was thinking the past few days.
if i die today would people attend my funeral?

i hope this day would end, fast.

there was this girl.
she ran. and ran.
as if in a race.
she didn't hear what the others
were telling her.
their mouths moved.
but didn't mean a thing.
she ran and ran.
she didn't look at the road ahead.
she tripped.
she fell flat on her face.
and she didn't want to get up again.
because it felt fine.
to just lie there.

Monday, June 06, 2005

my week in a dozen whats

1. what was the weirdest thing you did this week?
*took a bath with the bathroom door open so i could hear pops in seoul in the background hehe...

2. what was the nicest thing you heard someone say?
*you're (pex nick here)? wow.

3. what was the silliest thing you did?
*texted someone i missed him.

4. what was the most sarcastic thing you said?
* actually texted gela to say goodluck to 'acheng' for me.

5. what was the naughtiest thing you did?
*'teased' someone for the nth time. so sorry :)

6. what song have you played over and over again in your CD player?
* jjang nara's is it true and five candles by jars of clay

7. what's your dilemma of the week?
*lack of funds.

8. what's one realization you have this week?
*what else is new, im insecure. thanks so much luther for pointing it out :p

9. what is something you don't like doing but now you are doing it?
*waiting. i'm not the most patient of persons and i dunno why im being this patient. to the one who's making me wait -- i'm taking your word for it.

10. what got on your nerves?
*besides that woman at the drinking fountain, my windburned lips takes the cake. it hurts...

11. what's something you haven't done for sometime and did this week?
*actually 2 things a.) went out without blowdrying my hair (brownout!) and b.) i cooked! (carbonara)

12. what's the one word you absolutely dread hearing?
*the word soon. the person who thought of that word should be jailed for the word's indefiniteness.

Friday, June 03, 2005

3 words

annoyed. irritated. pissed.

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don't mess with me.

im all three today.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

a lot like love

"it felt a lot like love..."

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i saw HIM in ashton.
but maybe because i see ME in amanda.

"don't. you'll ruin it..."

then again it's just a movie.

there's nothing like a great ruin a perfectly good friendship.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005


i've attempted a few times to be a miss match or a hitch to a few of my friends. attempted meaning i haven't pushed through with the actual setting up of dates. now jiale turns the tables on me and decides to set me up with one of her guy friends.

now me being used to blind dates and on-line dating haven't been on a 'reto' date before. and now i know why my friend thess doesn't want being set up. the pressure is too much! and jiale doesn't even wanna budge from her stand -- she doesn't want to chaperone us. she couldn't stand daw seeing two of her closest friends na naglalandian. heller.

i don't know really what to make out of this...(?)