i relate

i watched ...ing for the third time last night. it was pretty late already but still i wanted to see kim rae won's gorgeous face. and i was in a brooding mood. 'twas a sad love story but watching it this time around made me think again. about my life. and love. lately romance movies seem to be talking to me. as if each word, of each line and each action are hitting me like a ton of bricks. i remember before i find movies like that cute. just that. but now i feel, i relate. i have realized that my journey has a long, long way to go. it hasn't ended, it has only begun.

i don't even know what ...ing means but now i can relate.

compare and contrast

why is that some people force the truth out of you then in the end get disappointed when they hear what you have to say?

then why ask me if you don't want a stab in the heart? or a bruise to your ego? why ask "who's better?", "im nicer right?" or "why do you like him and not me?" when all you are asking for is one big glass of cold water on the head?

why bring back the memories, raise up the dead? tell me why!!!!

im sooo pissed right now.

'mushy' left over

sister: lam mo may nakita akong kakaiba kanina.
me: (reading a mag) what?
sister: nakwento ko nga kina ms. g 'to...
me: ano nga?
sister: nakasakay ako sa FX. stop kasi, may nakita akong guy na naglalakad. sabi ko di naman siya mukhang pulubi pero isa lang yung sandals niya. nagtaka ako bakit. tapos napansin ko yung girl na katabi niya.
me: o tapos...
sister: may hawak na sandals yung girl. sira. tapos suot nung girl yung isang shoes nung guy.
me: ay...
sister: pati nga sina ms. g na pa "aww. ang sweet."

*toink*

snap out of it. :)

weekend dilemma

i was wondering where it was.
the weekend had me in panic.
but you wouldn't know.
i was all smiles.
deep inside i was praying really hard.
then monday came.
there it was.
i was never in my life
so relieved to see it.
im so stupid when it comes to numbers.
and counting.

oh yeah.
i lost one of my contacts this morning too.
and i had to rush to the mall to buy replacements.
only to find that they don't have my grade in extended wear.
had to settle for disposables.
argh. gastos.


and here i thought fitting under this parasol was the only problem i had.

and we strike again

"Tuloy na tayo sa Tarlac mamaya."

i looked up from the newspapers i was cutting up. "Serioso kayo?" i said.
"Oo, naman." was the answer i got.

and off to nhila's home town we went. it was a long awaited road trip of ours. nhila just couldn't make tiyempo with a road manager's schedule being hectic and all.


paano ba ipagkakasya ang isang taling okra sa 5? compute. compute. jerry di pa luto yan!

for a brief story of our adventure click here.

and during a stop over i just couldn't help but go crazy over my short cafe mocha. pagpasensyahan niyo na ang lapses ko. *lol*


finally a cup of mocha!

let's see if this picks me up...

you want some?

help i can't keep my eyes open...

hmmm actually, i'm awake now. not bad...

o siya sige tama na ang pagpapacute ko. *lol*

the sleeping pill

I did not take the sleeping pill but still i feel a little woozy. Staring ahead, going through his head and doodling in this chair is all the excitement this class could get. This room in this boring building has not enough doors to see outside -- people walking, interesting get-ups, cute faces. It has too high windows to count cars, passers-by or even sketch the trees outside.

His voice drones on in my head. Same lesson. Same words. No meaning. It's as if he's trying to brain wash us, with his thoughts of nationalism, the rich being the country's oppressors and all those things which really don't matter much to us. Instead of believing him, it makes me want to stick a finger down my throat and throw up. This class makes the fly on my desk more interesting to observe.

Glazed eyes go his way. It may not look empty but is filled up with things good than taking the sleeping pill.

Tired of all this talk makes my mind wander. Wander to the books I want to read, movies and shows to watch, even to the time when I'll meet and gab with my friends. Dreams are interrupted. The person in front of me wakes suddenly as her papers fall from her grasp, jolting her senses. The sleeping pill takes effect. It takes effect on her but not me. I have to control my senses.

It makes me contemplate. All I've heard in this class, I've heard before. It's nothing new, nothing learned. I wonder what he takes to make him the cure to insomnia nights.

Freedom is forty minutes away. I look longingly at the door, the key to my escape. The great insomnia cure even wears the same shirt on Mondays. Maybe he has a Monday shirt. And a Tuesday shirt. even a Saturday shirt. Zzzzz... an overdose of sleeping pills can kill. Could he kill us with all these things he tells us? Makes me want to drop dead before he does do us in. But I haven't had a taste of the pleasures of life yet. Do I call it foul play? with intent to kill? Please put stilts before my eyes.

I must swallow this sleeping pill. But not much. I want to be awake to take the other sleeping pill, my eyes wide open.

an unearthed composition of a very bored 19 year old Patricia, during her rizal class in UP circa 1998.

something, something...

my room. finally. kamsamnida uchi, unni.

oh-k. that's me obviously being silly. me, uchi, tina, cherry, ia and marie went on a korean immersion trip last saturday. i felt so deprived of the 'korean experience' reading stuff from uchi's blog, i just had to make time for it. for the full story read uchi's account of the whole day (minus what happened at glorietta 4 after she dropped us off. secret nanamin yun nina tina hehehe.)

here's another something for you guys. from leah naman this time. is this who i am? whatchu think? *lol* comments very welcome. :)

JULY PEOPLE ARE:
-Fun to be with. (aherm)
-Secretive. (well to an extent. various people who know me know a variety of my secrets)
-Difficult to fathom and to be understood. (hmm not really. or am i?)
-Quiet unless excited or tensed.(uhm. yeah :) )
-Takes pride in oneself. (yeah in a way.)
-Has reputation.(err good or bad? hehe...)
-Easily consoled.
-Honest. (ana says i can't keep a straight face when i lie!)
-Concerned about people's feelings. (very.)
-Tactful. (alam ko naman kung kelan bubusina.)
-Friendly. (sobra na nga ata minsan.)
-Approachable. (but people tend to get intimidated first time meeting me.)
-Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. (an understatement!)
-Moody and easily hurt. (boo-hoo. such a cry baby.)
-Witty and sparkly. (oh i am sparkly alright. haha.)
-Not revengeful. (yes, bahala na si lord sa inyo.)
-Forgiving but never forgets. (ahh. this is very me.)
-Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. (umm remember the lunchbox i just bought?)
-Guides others physically and mentally.(uhh what kind of guidance? *wink*)
-Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. (i see the best in people.)
-Caring and loving. (aherm.)
-Treats others equally. (well i do tend to have favorites sometimes...)
-Strong sense of sympathy. (mamahalin kita kahit sino ka man. yaks.)
-Wary and sharp. (mahilig magduda ba yung wary? hehe...)
-Judges people through observations.
-Hardworking. (me? ulk.)
-No difficulties in studying. (well i somehow passed math 1 hahaha...)
-Loves to be alone. (not all the time. just to think.)
-Always broods about the past and the old friends. (yes i miss my HS friends)
-Likes to be quiet. (i like observing!)
-Homely person.(only for a few days. i get restless staying at home for 2 days straight.)
-Waits for friends. (yeah kahit maiksi ang pasensiya ko.)
-Never looks for friends. (i never look intentionally. im happy i find them in the most unusual circumstances.)
-Not aggressive unless provoked. (i dont like confrontations. tatahimik na lang ako.)
-Prone to having stomach and dieting problems.
-Loves to be loved. (who doesn't?)
-Easily hurt but takes long to recover. (hmm. one day lang ok na ko. haha plastic...)

drama platinum

another lesson learned from a korean drama. was watching love's pinwheel last night with my sister. a holiday episode, the characters of the show were present at a sunrise festival and each of them made a wish as the sun rose over their town's horizon. one of the main characters, young-gyu makes a silent wish that goes something like this:

" Please make my heart's desires come true. But if you have a hard time fulfilling it, instead banish this longing inside of me so that i won't look for it anymore."

i wish i have the courage to say that.

tag ur it

3 Names You Go By:
1. Patty
2. Pat
3. Patresha

3 Screen Names You Have Had
1. eventuallypretty
2. prettyjupiter
3. gnp

3 Physical Things You Like About Yourself
1. hair
2. eyes
3. gifted chest :)

3 Physical Things You Don't Like About Yourself
1. nose
2. legs
3. skin

3 Parts of Your Heritage
1. filipino
2. chinese
3. spanish

3 Things That Scare You
1. loneliness eating me up
2. loss of any family member
3. not having enough financially

3 Of Your Everyday Essentials
1. mobile phone
2. TV
3. lipstick

3 of Your Favorite Musical Artists
1. No Doubt
2. U2
3. Joss Stone

3 of Your Favorite Songs
1. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - U2
2. What If - Cold Play
3. Fell In Love With A Boy - Joss Stone

3 Things You Want In A Relationship
1. passion
2. honesty
3. friendship

3 Lies
1. love is unconditional
2. instant ayos ang buhok mo pag gumamit ka ng rejoice
3. bato ako

3 Truths
1. i am lazy
2. only thing constant is change
3. not all frogs turn into princes. some are just plain frogs.

3 Physical Things About The Opposite Sex That Appeals To You
1. smiling eyes
2. nice hands
3. contagious smile

3 Of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. watching TV
2. surfing the net
3. taking self portraits (haha)

3 Things You Want To Do Really Badly Now
1. travel the world
2. see my mom
3. learn another language

3 Careers You're Considering/You've Considered
1. advertising
2. web/graphic designing
3. be a MTV VJ (kaya lang i think i'd have a lot of scandals harhar)

3 Places You'd Want to Go For Vacation
1. usa
2. japan
3. south korea

3 Kid Names You Like
1. deirdra
2. dominique
3. lucas

3 Things You Want To Do Before You Die
1. travel
2. find the love of my life
3. swim with the dolphins

3 Ways That You Are Sterotypically a Boy
1. i can use a nail and a hammer properly
2. i like reading FHM
3. ask jiale for the third one

3 Ways That You Are Sterotypically a Girl
1. i like pink
2. i love shopping
3. i'm a romantic

3 Celebrity Crushes
1. michael vartan
2. keanu reeves
3. kim rae won

blog muse missing

i've been lamenting to cherry yesterday that i can't think of anything to write on my blog. its as if my blog muse has been used up and bled dry. she said "e di write about stuff happening to you today." well that's the problem. i'm doing nothing. i should be rejoicing about that right but i'm so bored. oh well. here's a few ramblings.

the boat is sinking
thats the term i used to describe the country's recent predicament over the gloriagate scandal (umm patty is this you talking about politics in your blog? *scratch head*). everyone at the office and even over the TEC yahoogroup feel like bailing ship, migrating to the US, Canada, Australia even as far as Cayman Islands (and can someone enlighten me where that is? im too lazy to google it). and while everyone is talking about this i picture myself lizzie maguire like, a cartoon with a stick proding at it. i don't know what's wrong with me lately but i can't seem to bring myself to the thought of leaving the country right now. i have the strong desire to improve my life but i haven't pictured myself somewhere out there as of late. when i graduated from college i sooo wanted to go abroad but now the urge seems to have been placed in a file in my head amongst other things i want to do. i need a push in the right direction...BUT for now what i need to figure out is which direction this entry is going to, so on to the next topic.

more taxes?!!@#$@&^**!*ss
cherry also dropped a mini bomb on my other wise boring day. as a contributing writer for abs-cbn publishing, it is now required by the BIR that i register myself and have a recipt to give the office everytime they get my services. bummer! it's a hassle for me, specially now that writing jobs for abs publishing is a scarcity (due to the on going pagtitipid measures) and i get like 2-3 assignments a year! err. as if i am not paying enough taxes already. *fume*

isaw trippin'
since we can leave the office a little early than the usual, the aalis na gang decided to take a trip to lydia's grill. where's that you ask? it's in greenpark village in pasig. wow layo namang trip yan right? the reason we went there is for the yummy bbq, isaw and other grilled stuff tita lydia (joseph bitangcol's mom) sells at their small shop in the village. it was an isaw trip alright (had 5 sticks *burp*) and C2 apple. *sigh* it was fun going on another road trip with the aalis na gang. and we got to catch up on things. and i got teary eyed with the concern they had for me. i didn't know that. jerry even asking for ... ah never mind. thanks guys. *teardrop* :) at least you didn't abandon ship or washed your hands off me like some peeps i know. *sniff*

aww...nuff of the drama. and obviously we're done with the archive sorting awhile ago. i had enough time to post these nonsense over here. heh.

so would you rather have the angsty patty? or the bored patty?

stuck

i'm stuck sorting newspaper clipping archives dated since last year. my hands are dirty, my feet are aching (wearing wooden clogs fyi) and its raining cats and dogs (i wish it were men though hahaha). got a 6pm deadline and we have 2 balikbayan boxes to sort through plus this year's clippings. malapit ko nang patayin ang artistang gumawa ng gulong to mwehehe... *sweet smile*

i'll update this thing later. just wanted y'all to know.

ang sarap ng coke

nothing beats an ice cold coke in can. i've succumbed to the temptation. :)

i just want to thank this one person who made me smile, laugh and sigh a lot *lol* yesterday. took a day off from work (sulking and channel surfing all day)and he just took the blues away. i know he won't be able to read this, he doesn't even know of this blog's existence but i want to thank him here just the same.

sarap talaga ng coke.

2 days after...

...i'm nursing a cold. *sniff* i've been feeling a bit down since saturday.


sneezed 5x the minute i stood up from bed

...i bought myself a gift. yes i used my plastic money once again. i'm buried deep in debt. but i just couldn't resist buying the bayo bag i've had my eye on for so long. it was on sale at 50% off! my long search for a green bag is over. :)


of course it's green!

...i went on my japanese mode. i just couldn't resist cutesy japanese stuff hence i bought this lunch box. turning japanese again -- kawaii!!!


posing very japanese like if i should say so myself. lakas ng trip.

...today is spaghetti day! my most requested spaghetti. people here at the office remember it everytime my birthday comes along... hehehe... ana's whining, she didn't get here in time for lunch so she had none. oh well there's always next year :)


it's too late for me to take a pic of the spaghetti now so this pic is lifted from the net. *lol*

another year older

If you read this, even if I don't speak to you often, you must post a memory of me. It can be anything you want, it can be good or bad, just so long as it happened.

i remember posting this before. but due to some messed up situation it got buried somewhere around here.

it has been a long journey, my 27 years and i want you, the one reading this to answer.

think of it as a gift for me.

tawa naman diyan...

im trying to cheer myself up with...other things. :)
im trying to have positive thoughts about it.
thinking fast forward? that's what makes me expect something more.
which i don't like doing anymore.
cause see where i ended up in?

bukas pa po ang birthday ko. dami na kasing well wishers. greet me tomorrow not today hehehe. i'm trying to stop time in its tracks so don't push it forward. :)

flood

I keep giving in, when I should know better.

nakikisama talaga ang panahon.

Flood
Jars of Clay

Rain rain on my face
It hasn't stopped
Raining for days
My world is a flood
Slowly I become
One with the mud

Chorus:
But if I can't swim after 40 days
And my mind is crushed
By the crashing waves
Lift me up so high
That I cannot fall
Lift me up
Lift me up-when I'm falling
Lift me up-I'm weak and I'm dying
Lift me up-I need you to hold me
Lift me up-and keep me from drowning again

Down pour on my soul
Splashing in the ocean
I'm losing control
Dark sky all around
Can't feel my feet
Touching the ground

repeat chorus

Calm the storms that drench my eyes
And dry the streams still flowing
Casting down all waves of sin
And guilt that overthrow me

repeat chorus

Lift me up-when I'm falling
Lift me up-I'm weak and I'm dying
Lift me up-I need you to hold me
Lift me up-and keep me from drowning again

the good, the bad and the ugly

the weekend was good, bad and ugly.

good: was able to fix some financial problems.
bad: financial status still not stable.

good: was finally able to hang out with him.
bad: was stupid to hang out with him and got treated like a second class citizen.

good: was able to down 5 bottles of beer.
bad: got wasted, had to be taken home and kissed by someone else, then had to cry at our doorstep out of frustration, trying to find the right keys to let me in, and the situation i have gotten myself into.

good: was able to talk to friends over soup and tequila.
bad: had to cry buckets in front of them. got me swollen eyes.

good: fantastic friends. the future looks a bit bright.
bad: another emotional rollercoaster.

good: birthday coming up
bad: another birthday, another heartbreak. i like collecting heartache gifts since i turned 25.

and where's the ugly part? i have a feeling things are gonna get uglier before they get better. another busy week ahead.

semi-happy today

watched war of the worlds last night with a friend. i almost didn't say yes but good thing i did. it got my mind off things. that movie was so tiring. seemed like i was running with tom cruise and dakota fanning the whole 2 hours. the movie is something you should see with someone you can hold on to. yung tipong pwede mong sakalin at palupaluin *lol*. or someone na pwede mong pagsamantalahan. harhar. i was expecting the movie to be a little bit like independence day, then i got the shock of my life --- don't worry i won't be spoiling the ending for you guys. i just didn't like the way the film ended.

my day's off to a good start. got one of my dilemma's semi-solved. i got only one deadline left. i'm gonna be out of the office later. hopefully my day's gonna end well.

wow july na pala. how time flies.

question

is it because i'm simply stupid?

or

he's just plain cruel?

it so damn hurts

tears are falling.
as i write these words.
strike two.
i'm such a fool.
i feel sick.
i want to fade away.

of cereals and first impressions

i was waiting for cherry's post on our jc cuadrado shoot for pink last wednesday but since she is super dooper busy i guess i have to make do with the only pic i have (which i had to beg for btw). breakfast is the theme for the day and at last i get a writing assignment again.


fruitloops poster gel.

it was fun really, JC being the wacko that he is. but i guess he left a sort of bad impression on the staff because he was err...super late. he isn't a bad guy really. he's charming actually. its just that we had to wait for 45 minutes for a 15 minute shoot. oh well part of the job anyway.

which brings me to making impressions. yeah when i meet someone for the first time i make sure i get on the good side of that person, smiling politely, being bubbly yet respectful at the same time. i thought it was a sure fire formula, but that isn't always the case a lesson i learned last saturday. it doesn't matter really if you put your best foot forward because there are people who are just very narrow minded.

it hurt me to know that someone who i assumed was already a friend, thought very different of me. i was the first one who introduced him to the gang so i felt i was pretty ok in his list but then again sabi nga nila maraming namamatay sa maling akala. i was earning negative points on his score board which i didn't know we, as his friends, have. harmless comments i made, my being open minded about certain things and a joke were all taken against me. and what gets me ticked off is the fact that i was judged at face value (like a book ---kidding!). i was branded when in fact he doesn't know who i really am.

i was thinking of keeping quiet whenever he is around but then again why should i adjust to him? this is me, take it or leave it. i couldn't believe that i, ms. congeniality became a victim of prejudice. deep wow. haha. seriously, i usually find good in people i meet but now i have come to a bitter conclusion that some people are just born assholes.

more lessons

nice one ms. raven.

"That's why there's such a thing as FUBUs and friends with benefits," he said. "Because usually women don't demand for more than they deserve. Once they like the guy, they're willing to settle for what they can get, cause they're afraid to lose him."

"And of course, for a guy, this is perfect. He gets the benefit — without the commitment," Michael continues. "He doesn't need to get to know her better or work for it. He gets what he wants for free anyways so why not?"

do you read this my friends? chelo? jiale? leah? anna? rose? patty? oh that's me pala *ahem*.

nice one. nice one...

haiku

one of the fab 5 of queer eye taught this guy how to make a haiku. it made me think about a haiku i did during my elementary days. i couldn't remember exactly how it went but what i still remember is the feeling of accomplishment i had with that poem.

so here i am attempting another one.

by the gate we stood
in the silence of morning
fleeting happiness

i'm trying to think happy thoughts. and that's one of my nicest moments. even if it was for a short while :)

blue is the theme of the day

nakikisama ang weather talaga. it's raining cats and dogs outside. and i'm wearing my blue gamusa pumps that i bought for 250 sa galleria.


i fear na baka magkakalas-kalas siya when it gets wet *lol*

the guys (as in the males of the group) at pex are a little on the senti mode a while ago. isa pa sila sa nakikisama sa akin. i'm feeling blue again. told you the sunshiny feeling wouldn't last more than a week.

i have a theory. this is the normal me. melancholy. me being exhilarated, now that's abnormal. hmm. i wonder what more theories about myself i'd come up with while i'm having this pensive state of mind...

not feeling well

i think i'm coming down with something. my hands feel cold. my stomach feels queasy. i wanna lie down and sleep.

pano na ang pj party tom? :(

a lot like love part deux

even if the movie a lot like love got me into 'mukmok' mode, as i call my baddest of senti days, the first time i saw it, i went to a second screening for the sake of commiserating with chelo. it was a small favor for a girl who i usually rant to about the aches, pains and joys of my current love life sitch.

the movie didn't hit me that hard like the first time, maybe because my monday date and its effects are still rubbing off yesterday (and admittedly til today). luther even asked me for like a third time if until when my sunny beam would last (jiale and chelo also asked the same thing thank you very much). i tried real hard not to be too happy in front of chelo *lol* we never do learn do we girl. and i just couldn't believe you swallowed your big fat pride for that guy who doesn't deserve you. yeah they always tell us we deserve someone better cause we are after all pretty special. yet we settle. wahahaha. anyway who am i to lecture, we have diffrent strokes though we both arrive at the same results *lol*. happiness is a choice they say, but what will you do when the very thing that makes you happy is also the same thing that makes you feel miserable?

anyone who, can touch you, can hurt you, or heal you.
anyone who, can reach you, can love you, or leave you.

-------------------------

among the 4 of us (luther, chelo, sally and moi), i was the first one to get a cab. i'm used to riding cabs alone, my work requiring me to spend time in the office till the wee hours in the morning. i'm usually quiet, assessing either what happened the whole day, the things to do tomorrow or important thoughts i've kept at bay because of work. i'm so used to this time to think that i was a bit pissed at the cab driver that night. he kept on talking. and talking. and talking. from dissing the car in front of us (siguro daw pokpok dahil 2 bading ang kasama and may tattoo yung girl), to his nieces (na babambuhin daw niya kung magpatattoo), to gma and erap (kawawa naman si erap, nakakulong din dahil sa jueteng) and guessing if i rode on his cab before. i don't mind a discussion once in a while but man, sana with sense naman! i just kept uttering 'uhuh' and smiling just to stop the conversation. but he kept on yakking to the point of insisting he knew where my street was. i was holding my "manong marunong pa kayo sa akin bahay namin yun" speech back cause i'm not also the type to get into long discussions. so i just said straight and turn right, paid him and got off.

if i was a manga character i would have had that big sweatdrop on my forehead or that gray cloud above my head. buti na lang mas malaki pa rin ang percentage ng pagiging masaya ko para masira ang araw ko. *whew*

pigging out, one-wayed and a promise kept

the last weekend was another eventful one. friday, gelo celebrated his 30th este 28th birthday pala (the kuya of the group asar talo lagi sa age niya). the whole 'patotim' gang pigged out on pasta and pizza at d marks in greenbelt. giant pizza slices! yummy mozzarella (kahit ini-scrape ni phoebe ang lahat ng cheese sa taco pizza niya). loud music sa background and ang init! syempre all out laugh trip nanaman the whole night though there were scattered discussions of the latest political sitch and the traffic jam it has caused over at the guadalupe area. and thank you again birthday boy for letting me and kiel force you to drive us home *lol*

saturday, the pex gang also had something to celebrate. chelo was free at last. all out gab fest naman dito. but it wasn't the only thing on the agenda. there was an EB too, and naughty girls and boys that they are, planned to one-way the get together with me, luther and jeanet as bait. BUT it turned out they weren't the only ones with the bright idea. they got one wayed too. hahaha...evil weevil thoughts kasi.

monday, had to drag my ass to a pictorial my boss sprang up on me. it's a holiday supposedly. but someone who finally kept his word made me light hearted the whole day. and happy the whole night. mr. and mrs. smith was a blast. thank you. :)

some funnies

ok ok. since everyone's begging for a nice sunny post well here it is.

yesterday was the press launch of star circle batch 13. i've been part of these launches since batch 9 (which included heart evangelista and rafael rosell to name a few) and you can say that i'm a little bit used to the chaos that happens at these events. anyway after the presentation, some of the road managers, handlers and i managed to snag a few minutes of 'fun' time.

the unfortunate subject of the next few lines is good friend leah aka lelai reading FHM *lol*


lelai: hmm...this article by asia agcaoli looks like an interesting read...


lelai: OMG! ganun pala yun (getting engrossed eh...)


lelai: masubukan nga to...

i'm just kiddin' folks. lelai's a good girl. the article's only for stock knowledge. *lol* my shoulders ached for lugging my bag around almost the whole day, for fear of losing some stuff (and for someone to snag the copy of the cosmopolitan mag i myself snagged from my boss haha). but all in all it was a fun night.


tired by the bar. the dark circles under the eyes from lack of sleep. i should start drinking. haha.

oh and yeah, cherry tell jane can i please just buy her patty shirt? puhlease? :)

had enough

i was supposed to upload our pics from the catalog pictorial last monday but with the work load yesterday, i forgot and remembered it when we were about to go home. anyway here's a preview of photos to come.


cowgirl. yan ba ang empty? yeah fake yang smile na yan. have a cow man.

talked to yet another guy friend. i knew the answer already but i have to hear it again...and again...and again. to accept the truth fully. the ache to remember the lesson. i should have stayed hidden in the box. behind the jumbled words.and smiley faces.

it seemed so right. but i was wrong. i should have had enough.

empty

i'm supposed to be finishing a deadline by 10 am and here i am blogging.
i feel so empty today. i dunno why.
i was thinking the past few days.
if i die today would people attend my funeral?

i hope this day would end, fast.

there was this girl.
she ran. and ran.
as if in a race.
she didn't hear what the others
were telling her.
their mouths moved.
but didn't mean a thing.
she ran and ran.
she didn't look at the road ahead.
she tripped.
she fell flat on her face.
and she didn't want to get up again.
because it felt fine.
to just lie there.

my week in a dozen whats

1. what was the weirdest thing you did this week?
*took a bath with the bathroom door open so i could hear pops in seoul in the background hehe...

2. what was the nicest thing you heard someone say?
*you're (pex nick here)? wow.

3. what was the silliest thing you did?
*texted someone i missed him.

4. what was the most sarcastic thing you said?
* actually texted gela to say goodluck to 'acheng' for me.

5. what was the naughtiest thing you did?
*'teased' someone for the nth time. so sorry :)

6. what song have you played over and over again in your CD player?
* jjang nara's is it true and five candles by jars of clay

7. what's your dilemma of the week?
*lack of funds.

8. what's one realization you have this week?
*what else is new, im insecure. thanks so much luther for pointing it out :p

9. what is something you don't like doing but now you are doing it?
*waiting. i'm not the most patient of persons and i dunno why im being this patient. to the one who's making me wait -- i'm taking your word for it.

10. what got on your nerves?
*besides that woman at the drinking fountain, my windburned lips takes the cake. it hurts...

11. what's something you haven't done for sometime and did this week?
*actually 2 things a.) went out without blowdrying my hair (brownout!) and b.) i cooked! (carbonara)

12. what's the one word you absolutely dread hearing?
*the word soon. the person who thought of that word should be jailed for the word's indefiniteness.

3 words

annoyed. irritated. pissed.


don't mess with me.

im all three today.

a lot like love

"it felt a lot like love..."



i saw HIM in ashton.
but maybe because i see ME in amanda.

"don't. you'll ruin it..."

then again it's just a movie.

there's nothing like a great romance...to ruin a perfectly good friendship.

mis-match

i've attempted a few times to be a miss match or a hitch to a few of my friends. attempted meaning i haven't pushed through with the actual setting up of dates. now jiale turns the tables on me and decides to set me up with one of her guy friends.

now me being used to blind dates and on-line dating haven't been on a 'reto' date before. and now i know why my friend thess doesn't want being set up. the pressure is too much! and jiale doesn't even wanna budge from her stand -- she doesn't want to chaperone us. she couldn't stand daw seeing two of her closest friends na naglalandian. heller.

i don't know really what to make out of this...(?)

luuuv stories...

i don't know if cherry is being sarcastic or funny. she texts me to say she has a writing job for me. i was busy dubbing a tape of the anniv last sunday that i can't call her local. she finally asks me via sms if i can write love stories for a magazine.

wahahaha.

that was my reaction. i only write tragic love stories. *lol* the frog prince story was something out of my heart, that's why it came out nicely that way. writing fictional stuff? nginig. and cherry tells me a PG13 story is ok.

she doesn't know i ghost write for xerex once in a while.

wahahaha.

my boyfriend part II

guys, again meet my boyfriend.


abs-cbn's newest and hottest love team. yuck. *lol*

even the caption above had sandy laughing. i was clowning around with the rest of the scq gang after the star magic anniv special on ASAP. check out the abs-cbn publishing blogs for the rest of the behind the scenes pictures.

as for this blog well, all i want is for you to be familiar with my boyfriend. *mwahaha*

ramirez out. :)

good bye jopen

last friday we had an impromtu despedida for jopen who's leaving for the land down under tonight. bawal ang iyakan!


all smiles.

after chowing down at friday's, we headed to starbucks 6750. as usual the other girls went loco again over their favorite gazoos. cherry and i, talked about the usual bitterness surrounding our families and work. but then i couldn't stop myself from joining in the fun.


turning japanese este korean. asan ang pansit?

but the night didn't end there. jopen, charles, leah and me went to solas near abs-cbn for a little alcohol in the head. i was so sleepy already i kept yawning and yawning and analyzing. charles gave me his male pov. jopen on the other hand told me not to believe anything he said because charles thinks differently than the average male. well sige na nga.

but i'm ok really. i don't care anymore.

jopen take care. it's a whole new adventure for you. i will sorely miss you.

ni zai na li?

sa isang sikat na asianovela...

tseri nai: sino ang bago dao iyo buhay?
camille chou: san cai, ano gawa ko para mapagbgyan mo ko? gusto mo ikaw punta ng barcelona kasama dao?
tina wu: san cai, sino si dao? baka ako pede sama inyo barcelona.
san cai: hahaha busy dao masyado. wala na panahon ke san cai. lech. ako sama na lang hua tse lei.

*lol*


i'll let you go, i'll let you fly...

someone worth it all

my sister pointed out the lyrics of this song carrie sang with country group rascal flatts while we were watching the american idol replay last night. i didn't mind the song first time i watched cause i was just glancing now and then at the TV. work called for my whole attention.

the lyrics just touched me. it sort of gives me hope. i dunno. i feel hopeless most of the time when i think of the thing called love. the things i've been through. the joy and all the pain. i guess it will eventually lead to someone worth it all.

Bless The Broken Road
Rascal Flatts

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

american idol

just as i predicted carrie underwood won american idol. good. sorry for the bo bice fans out there. eversince a.i. started, between the 2 rockers constantine already won my heart. so when he was booted out, i chose carrie.

and her version of alone remains to be my top pick this a.i. season. which reminds me tina bebe where's my mp3? :)

im...

it's all i can think of the last few days. damn it. and to think super busy kami sa office, isa pang nakakagulo sa utak ko.

come on. lets get it over and done with. *lol*

galera

those 3 days in galera charged me.



it was fun. relaxing. laughter filled.



finally got to wear my 2 pieces. heehee. kapal ko no? :)



got a henna tattoo too...



got totally wasted...



but completely relaxed and rested...




but then my mind did wander off somewhere...



for the rest of the photos go here...

kissing mode

since im still waiting for our galera pics courtesy of paparazzi luther, and since i've talked about kissing for 2 posts already here's a little kissy quiz.

How good do you kiss?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Romantic Kisser.

Good for you! You know how to kiss and hopefully you have a certain someone to experience a serge of happiness with. If not, it doesnt hurt to flirt kiss a little hehe. Just dont get carried away. Romantic kissing is always a plus! Kissing is an art keep it up and youll be really good! Here some tips: 1. Be ready 2. no smoking 3. start slow 4. up the intensity 5. develop rhythm 6. change it up 7. pay attention to hands 8. experiment 9. respond 10. repeat

Romantic Kisser 75% Yippy Ki Yay! 63% Your more of a class act than youre giving yourself credit for 50%

tina and the rest of the gang i know you like quizzies, take this one. haha...

no rain

yes no rain today. and hopefully til sunday.

i'm off to my first real vacation since college graduation. again will resume breaking hearts and writing nonsensical stuff after 3 days.

byers everyone. :)


ps. ivy ayan updated kahit papano and yes i did kiss the frog. *lol*

the frog prince

nce upon a time in a kingdom not so far away there lived a princess, who was living a simple yet complicated life. she was often times heartbroken and would go to the small stream behind their castle to rant. the princess would cast her pains and sorrows to the stream, talking to herself, letting her tears create small ripples in the water.

one day as she was procrastinating, a frog suddenly jumps on a lily pad and starts talking to her. he wondered if they'd get along. they talked and talked about anything and everything. amazed at the wise words that the frog conveyed to her that the princess would now visit the stream hoping that she would be able to talk to him. the frog answered her questions and would console her, took her tortured heart by the hand and somehow healed her. finally someone who understood.

then out of the blue, during one of their talks, the frog asks for a kiss. though a bit taken aback, the princess obliges. after all they were friends now. the princess kisses the frog (or was it the frog who kissed the princess?) and he turns into a handsome prince. the kiss somehow changed the way things are with the princess and her newly found prince charming. they were still friends yet there was something building between them which got the princess confused.

prince charmings usually save the damsels in distress, and the princess felt like he did save her from misery. but suddenly things changed yet again. the prince after a while became busy with princely duties and 'man stuff' that he didn't have time for the princess anymore. they talked less and less. until the princess wondered if he still thinks about her. or even remembers her. and he disappeared without much of an explanation.

so the princess was lonely once again. she thought that maybe the frog prince would be different but in the end he was not. he was just the same as the prince charmings, who came and went, the ones that left scars on her heart. and this scar was deeper than the others. because she missed their talks. she missed their friendship. but it was too late now. the deed was done.

now the princess sits by the stream once more, creating small ripples in the water with her tears.

the end.

moral of the story:
princess
1. don't talk to strange frogs.
2. don't kiss frog princes. besides being warty they are still male.
3. the princess should hang out at other streams. or maybe just go to the town country fair.

frog
1. don't talk to broken hearted princesses. they are still vulnerable.
2. smart frogs should just remain friends with princesses who give them kisses.
3. frog princes should ask kermit the frog some pointers on being a good frog.

aja!

"Believe in happy endings... if you're not happy then it is not the end yet..."

i 'bumped' into this quote somewhere in PEX land. it's like saying 'AJA' to me. maybe it is...

just came from the talent center 13th anniv mtv shoot. kung kelan naman ako walang dalang jacket, we hung out sa studio 10 where it was super duper cold. it was a lot of fun amidst the chaos of the shoot. kasi nga talent center is one big family so it was like one big family reunion. almost all the stars andun, it will run til 11 tonight and may continuation pa tomorrow.

we arrived at the studio in time to catch desiree del valle's shoot. gawd. sabi ko nga kina ana natotomboy ako sa kanya. she's so sexy!


i just couldn't help asking des to strike a pose!

idol ko na si des. i'm already on a diet but i'm really going to get serious about it. not only for the galera trip but for the rest of the year.

kayanin kaya yun ng powers ko? *gulp*

extremes

the past 2 days were extremes for me. tuesday i was all out formal. sabi nga ni ana parang may awards night daw akong pupuntahan. hey isn't it nice too look pretty once in a while? people nga naman, if you look too good, you have a date. pwede naman magpaganda ng wala ha. :)

then yesterday, i was very beach-y. having a dry run for galera on the 20th. yahoo. finally vacation. okay. here is what the 2 extremes looked like.


picture a: the award winning all black number. picture b: the japanese/chinese inspired beach wear.

the beach attire got me through my 20 hour workday yesterday. yup you read that right. got another star magic catalog pictorial and it ended at 330 in the morn. i was sooo zonked out. i was the instant (was informed of the job minutes before the pictorial staff left ABS-CBN) photographer's assistant and we did 8 artists (the diva's maoui, michelle and glaiza; shaina, rayver, bea, john lloyd and sweet)all in one day. buti na lang i was in slippers. too bad darwin wasn't there to do my do. but sir david and i came up with a new pictorial session. the results will be coming out soon.

but don't wait for it with bated breath cause i'm no cindy crawford. heehee.

interesting

got your attention right? hmm...do you have a secret to share? go here. maybe i'll see your skeleton in the closet there one of these days.

or maybe you'll see mine.

full moon

it seems that everyone's not their usual self. or is it me who's not in my usual katinuan? anyway good thing i got to chat with chelo. and what i did made the truth all sink in. all the way to the bottom. i know now that that is all there is to it. sabi na nga ba too much fuss over nothing. eh.

im chucking out these feelings outside the window. let's get it on.

much ado about nothing

hey. i'm back. i tried some kind of a withdrawal from my blog and from PEX for a week. it was some kind of relief. and sacrifice in a way. yet i still feel empty. much fuss over nothing. ha. the only thing that made me happy over the weekend was me getting 'that' thing. quentin so much for world peace happening. :)

so what else came up except for me being more bitter? weeell i wore colorful clothes last friday, thinking it would lift my spirits. i was excited to wear my purple juicy couture jacket. but then when i got to the office, my boss said i looked like barney.


bleh. so i look like my most hated character. at least my armpits don't stick to my sides. bleh.

nuff of the funnies. i just can't help spreading the bitterness around. those who can relate just sing my song on my mind with me.

i hope HE does explain. because i just don't get it sometimes.

life's sneaky ways

yes i'm gonna quote alanis morisette. life has a funny way of sneaking up on people. fate has a funny way of saying the joke's on you. yes. i thought i was a-ok till the truth then again sprung on me like a jack-in-the-box.

hearing those names. para nanaman akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig. or should i say two bottles of san mig light. ayoko na. i don't want to be another statistic. another name on a long list. another conquest. i plan to dye my hair black. to maybe punish myself for being so stupid. and make it a reminder of the pain i've inflicted on myself.

ok ok the joke's on me. should i start laughing now?

labor day!

This was the supposed day of our bora trip (which has been pushed to june *eh*). it's been sweltering hot these past weeks and yesterday was no exception. i was peeved because i had to work on a sunday, a supposed holiday plus the fact that i didn't get to hang at the mall or even sleep late...

1030 am: i was already at the office in my white shirt and handy dandy mini (i wouldn't be caught dead in jeans while trudging in the hot sun...ang lagkit nun). i had to pick up lunch for everyone at the farmers mall in cubao and gulay it was so hot, the service van's aircon couldn't cool me and the utility men down. first waah. when i got back to the office parang nanghihina na agad ako...but! i managed to squeeze in a little picture time...


plopping down beside gidget at the hallway of dressing rooms 17-19. it's lunch time :)

200 pm: time to gather everyone into 4 vans and set off to raja sulayman along roxas boulevard. had no choice but to sit at the back and be burnt by the scorching sun through the van's not tinted windows...


good thing leah was beside me. we sung at the top of our lungs much to our artist's amusement. oh and yeah someone was making me smile here. someone pretty bad :P

330 pm: ay! the ultimate stickiness! ni ayaw namin magdikit nina aby dahil argh ang lagkit ng feeling. we had to get the stars dressed, line them up for pictorials, interviews and the presentation. yung iba pasaway pa. but the clothes were great and the boys and girls were ok over all.


karel marquez on stand by for an interview for Qpids


si glaiza habol sa retouch before their picture taking

for some more photos of the Flores De Mayo go here.

600 pm: as day turns into night the boys and girls get restless. who wouldn't? with the summer heat, the stuffy and itchy clothes, high heels and makeup i'd be wanting to run to air conditioned shakey's just across the street, order a thin crust pizza and a pitcher of rootbeer.


me and dear friend maoui david while she's lining up for the presentation. her neck is actually complaining sa tight necklace and her legs are all sweaty because of her petticoats. paano nga ba siya makakaupo?


ang pogi naman ng mamang to...carlo aquino threatening to escape in a jeepney or kalesa. he even pretended (yeah kunwari lang) to bribe us...with pizza *lol*

630 pm: even the staff was getting restless. jet valle and my boss makes chika to jc cuadrado and we realize he was absolutely cute and charming. sooo...when he suddenly sits down beside me on the bench, sa kawalan ng magawa we went on fan mode *lol*


me the ultimate anti-showbiz (before i worked in abs) having a fan pic moment. kahiya!

730 pm: we started walking for the sagala. and it was no short stroll in the park. it was a 3 km, stress inducing, sweat producing walkathon. buti na lang good natured pa rin ang mga artista. tawa na lang kami ng tawa. and i was surprised, a lot of people do still recognize some of our artists (yes, di pa din kami papatalo sa kapuso harhar!). we still produce the best stars. eat your heart out kapitbahay na network. :P


bawal magpahinga! haha...pagod na si alwyn and jill. but they still walked to the finish line!


Nagpapatawa na lang kami nina Thess. Pero nagrereklamo na din yung mga paa namin...

900 pm: hay finally dinner. Sabi nga ni janice candidate 17 pa lang tapos na sila kumain ni Thess. And concerned pa naman kami ni joy wondering where they went. while shoveling our dinner (yes my hands were shaking while i was spearing a lettuce leaf from my salad), rico j and marco sison serenaded us (di ako makarelate hahaha). the the winners were announced with matching fireworks display, signaling it's time to go home. finally.


ooh...that's where our taxes go...bulong sa kin ni kuya allan thinking city of manila ang sponsor. yun pala unilever hehehe...

1130 pm: back to homebase. taxi na ko pauwi. di na kaya ng powers ko magbasa ng sign board and pumara ng bus. zzz.

oops my entry got long. but it's a picture book entry anyway so i hope you're still reading up to this part. :)