compare and contrast

why is that some people force the truth out of you then in the end get disappointed when they hear what you have to say?

then why ask me if you don't want a stab in the heart? or a bruise to your ego? why ask "who's better?", "im nicer right?" or "why do you like him and not me?" when all you are asking for is one big glass of cold water on the head?

why bring back the memories, raise up the dead? tell me why!!!!

im sooo pissed right now.

'mushy' left over

sister: lam mo may nakita akong kakaiba kanina.
me: (reading a mag) what?
sister: nakwento ko nga kina ms. g 'to...
me: ano nga?
sister: nakasakay ako sa FX. stop kasi, may nakita akong guy na naglalakad. sabi ko di naman siya mukhang pulubi pero isa lang yung sandals niya. nagtaka ako bakit. tapos napansin ko yung girl na katabi niya.
me: o tapos...
sister: may hawak na sandals yung girl. sira. tapos suot nung girl yung isang shoes nung guy.
me: ay...
sister: pati nga sina ms. g na pa "aww. ang sweet."

*toink*

snap out of it. :)

weekend dilemma

i was wondering where it was.
the weekend had me in panic.
but you wouldn't know.
i was all smiles.
deep inside i was praying really hard.
then monday came.
there it was.
i was never in my life
so relieved to see it.
im so stupid when it comes to numbers.
and counting.

oh yeah.
i lost one of my contacts this morning too.
and i had to rush to the mall to buy replacements.
only to find that they don't have my grade in extended wear.
had to settle for disposables.
argh. gastos.


and here i thought fitting under this parasol was the only problem i had.

and we strike again

"Tuloy na tayo sa Tarlac mamaya."

i looked up from the newspapers i was cutting up. "Serioso kayo?" i said.
"Oo, naman." was the answer i got.

and off to nhila's home town we went. it was a long awaited road trip of ours. nhila just couldn't make tiyempo with a road manager's schedule being hectic and all.


paano ba ipagkakasya ang isang taling okra sa 5? compute. compute. jerry di pa luto yan!

for a brief story of our adventure click here.

and during a stop over i just couldn't help but go crazy over my short cafe mocha. pagpasensyahan niyo na ang lapses ko. *lol*


finally a cup of mocha!

let's see if this picks me up...

you want some?

help i can't keep my eyes open...

hmmm actually, i'm awake now. not bad...

o siya sige tama na ang pagpapacute ko. *lol*

the sleeping pill

I did not take the sleeping pill but still i feel a little woozy. Staring ahead, going through his head and doodling in this chair is all the excitement this class could get. This room in this boring building has not enough doors to see outside -- people walking, interesting get-ups, cute faces. It has too high windows to count cars, passers-by or even sketch the trees outside.

His voice drones on in my head. Same lesson. Same words. No meaning. It's as if he's trying to brain wash us, with his thoughts of nationalism, the rich being the country's oppressors and all those things which really don't matter much to us. Instead of believing him, it makes me want to stick a finger down my throat and throw up. This class makes the fly on my desk more interesting to observe.

Glazed eyes go his way. It may not look empty but is filled up with things good than taking the sleeping pill.

Tired of all this talk makes my mind wander. Wander to the books I want to read, movies and shows to watch, even to the time when I'll meet and gab with my friends. Dreams are interrupted. The person in front of me wakes suddenly as her papers fall from her grasp, jolting her senses. The sleeping pill takes effect. It takes effect on her but not me. I have to control my senses.

It makes me contemplate. All I've heard in this class, I've heard before. It's nothing new, nothing learned. I wonder what he takes to make him the cure to insomnia nights.

Freedom is forty minutes away. I look longingly at the door, the key to my escape. The great insomnia cure even wears the same shirt on Mondays. Maybe he has a Monday shirt. And a Tuesday shirt. even a Saturday shirt. Zzzzz... an overdose of sleeping pills can kill. Could he kill us with all these things he tells us? Makes me want to drop dead before he does do us in. But I haven't had a taste of the pleasures of life yet. Do I call it foul play? with intent to kill? Please put stilts before my eyes.

I must swallow this sleeping pill. But not much. I want to be awake to take the other sleeping pill, my eyes wide open.

an unearthed composition of a very bored 19 year old Patricia, during her rizal class in UP circa 1998.

something, something...

my room. finally. kamsamnida uchi, unni.

oh-k. that's me obviously being silly. me, uchi, tina, cherry, ia and marie went on a korean immersion trip last saturday. i felt so deprived of the 'korean experience' reading stuff from uchi's blog, i just had to make time for it. for the full story read uchi's account of the whole day (minus what happened at glorietta 4 after she dropped us off. secret nanamin yun nina tina hehehe.)

here's another something for you guys. from leah naman this time. is this who i am? whatchu think? *lol* comments very welcome. :)

JULY PEOPLE ARE:
-Fun to be with. (aherm)
-Secretive. (well to an extent. various people who know me know a variety of my secrets)
-Difficult to fathom and to be understood. (hmm not really. or am i?)
-Quiet unless excited or tensed.(uhm. yeah :) )
-Takes pride in oneself. (yeah in a way.)
-Has reputation.(err good or bad? hehe...)
-Easily consoled.
-Honest. (ana says i can't keep a straight face when i lie!)
-Concerned about people's feelings. (very.)
-Tactful. (alam ko naman kung kelan bubusina.)
-Friendly. (sobra na nga ata minsan.)
-Approachable. (but people tend to get intimidated first time meeting me.)
-Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. (an understatement!)
-Moody and easily hurt. (boo-hoo. such a cry baby.)
-Witty and sparkly. (oh i am sparkly alright. haha.)
-Not revengeful. (yes, bahala na si lord sa inyo.)
-Forgiving but never forgets. (ahh. this is very me.)
-Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. (umm remember the lunchbox i just bought?)
-Guides others physically and mentally.(uhh what kind of guidance? *wink*)
-Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. (i see the best in people.)
-Caring and loving. (aherm.)
-Treats others equally. (well i do tend to have favorites sometimes...)
-Strong sense of sympathy. (mamahalin kita kahit sino ka man. yaks.)
-Wary and sharp. (mahilig magduda ba yung wary? hehe...)
-Judges people through observations.
-Hardworking. (me? ulk.)
-No difficulties in studying. (well i somehow passed math 1 hahaha...)
-Loves to be alone. (not all the time. just to think.)
-Always broods about the past and the old friends. (yes i miss my HS friends)
-Likes to be quiet. (i like observing!)
-Homely person.(only for a few days. i get restless staying at home for 2 days straight.)
-Waits for friends. (yeah kahit maiksi ang pasensiya ko.)
-Never looks for friends. (i never look intentionally. im happy i find them in the most unusual circumstances.)
-Not aggressive unless provoked. (i dont like confrontations. tatahimik na lang ako.)
-Prone to having stomach and dieting problems.
-Loves to be loved. (who doesn't?)
-Easily hurt but takes long to recover. (hmm. one day lang ok na ko. haha plastic...)

drama platinum

another lesson learned from a korean drama. was watching love's pinwheel last night with my sister. a holiday episode, the characters of the show were present at a sunrise festival and each of them made a wish as the sun rose over their town's horizon. one of the main characters, young-gyu makes a silent wish that goes something like this:

" Please make my heart's desires come true. But if you have a hard time fulfilling it, instead banish this longing inside of me so that i won't look for it anymore."

i wish i have the courage to say that.

tag ur it

3 Names You Go By:
1. Patty
2. Pat
3. Patresha

3 Screen Names You Have Had
1. eventuallypretty
2. prettyjupiter
3. gnp

3 Physical Things You Like About Yourself
1. hair
2. eyes
3. gifted chest :)

3 Physical Things You Don't Like About Yourself
1. nose
2. legs
3. skin

3 Parts of Your Heritage
1. filipino
2. chinese
3. spanish

3 Things That Scare You
1. loneliness eating me up
2. loss of any family member
3. not having enough financially

3 Of Your Everyday Essentials
1. mobile phone
2. TV
3. lipstick

3 of Your Favorite Musical Artists
1. No Doubt
2. U2
3. Joss Stone

3 of Your Favorite Songs
1. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - U2
2. What If - Cold Play
3. Fell In Love With A Boy - Joss Stone

3 Things You Want In A Relationship
1. passion
2. honesty
3. friendship

3 Lies
1. love is unconditional
2. instant ayos ang buhok mo pag gumamit ka ng rejoice
3. bato ako

3 Truths
1. i am lazy
2. only thing constant is change
3. not all frogs turn into princes. some are just plain frogs.

3 Physical Things About The Opposite Sex That Appeals To You
1. smiling eyes
2. nice hands
3. contagious smile

3 Of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. watching TV
2. surfing the net
3. taking self portraits (haha)

3 Things You Want To Do Really Badly Now
1. travel the world
2. see my mom
3. learn another language

3 Careers You're Considering/You've Considered
1. advertising
2. web/graphic designing
3. be a MTV VJ (kaya lang i think i'd have a lot of scandals harhar)

3 Places You'd Want to Go For Vacation
1. usa
2. japan
3. south korea

3 Kid Names You Like
1. deirdra
2. dominique
3. lucas

3 Things You Want To Do Before You Die
1. travel
2. find the love of my life
3. swim with the dolphins

3 Ways That You Are Sterotypically a Boy
1. i can use a nail and a hammer properly
2. i like reading FHM
3. ask jiale for the third one

3 Ways That You Are Sterotypically a Girl
1. i like pink
2. i love shopping
3. i'm a romantic

3 Celebrity Crushes
1. michael vartan
2. keanu reeves
3. kim rae won

blog muse missing

i've been lamenting to cherry yesterday that i can't think of anything to write on my blog. its as if my blog muse has been used up and bled dry. she said "e di write about stuff happening to you today." well that's the problem. i'm doing nothing. i should be rejoicing about that right but i'm so bored. oh well. here's a few ramblings.

the boat is sinking
thats the term i used to describe the country's recent predicament over the gloriagate scandal (umm patty is this you talking about politics in your blog? *scratch head*). everyone at the office and even over the TEC yahoogroup feel like bailing ship, migrating to the US, Canada, Australia even as far as Cayman Islands (and can someone enlighten me where that is? im too lazy to google it). and while everyone is talking about this i picture myself lizzie maguire like, a cartoon with a stick proding at it. i don't know what's wrong with me lately but i can't seem to bring myself to the thought of leaving the country right now. i have the strong desire to improve my life but i haven't pictured myself somewhere out there as of late. when i graduated from college i sooo wanted to go abroad but now the urge seems to have been placed in a file in my head amongst other things i want to do. i need a push in the right direction...BUT for now what i need to figure out is which direction this entry is going to, so on to the next topic.

more taxes?!!@#$@&^**!*ss
cherry also dropped a mini bomb on my other wise boring day. as a contributing writer for abs-cbn publishing, it is now required by the BIR that i register myself and have a recipt to give the office everytime they get my services. bummer! it's a hassle for me, specially now that writing jobs for abs publishing is a scarcity (due to the on going pagtitipid measures) and i get like 2-3 assignments a year! err. as if i am not paying enough taxes already. *fume*

isaw trippin'
since we can leave the office a little early than the usual, the aalis na gang decided to take a trip to lydia's grill. where's that you ask? it's in greenpark village in pasig. wow layo namang trip yan right? the reason we went there is for the yummy bbq, isaw and other grilled stuff tita lydia (joseph bitangcol's mom) sells at their small shop in the village. it was an isaw trip alright (had 5 sticks *burp*) and C2 apple. *sigh* it was fun going on another road trip with the aalis na gang. and we got to catch up on things. and i got teary eyed with the concern they had for me. i didn't know that. jerry even asking for ... ah never mind. thanks guys. *teardrop* :) at least you didn't abandon ship or washed your hands off me like some peeps i know. *sniff*

aww...nuff of the drama. and obviously we're done with the archive sorting awhile ago. i had enough time to post these nonsense over here. heh.

so would you rather have the angsty patty? or the bored patty?

stuck

i'm stuck sorting newspaper clipping archives dated since last year. my hands are dirty, my feet are aching (wearing wooden clogs fyi) and its raining cats and dogs (i wish it were men though hahaha). got a 6pm deadline and we have 2 balikbayan boxes to sort through plus this year's clippings. malapit ko nang patayin ang artistang gumawa ng gulong to mwehehe... *sweet smile*

i'll update this thing later. just wanted y'all to know.

ang sarap ng coke

nothing beats an ice cold coke in can. i've succumbed to the temptation. :)

i just want to thank this one person who made me smile, laugh and sigh a lot *lol* yesterday. took a day off from work (sulking and channel surfing all day)and he just took the blues away. i know he won't be able to read this, he doesn't even know of this blog's existence but i want to thank him here just the same.

sarap talaga ng coke.

2 days after...

...i'm nursing a cold. *sniff* i've been feeling a bit down since saturday.


sneezed 5x the minute i stood up from bed

...i bought myself a gift. yes i used my plastic money once again. i'm buried deep in debt. but i just couldn't resist buying the bayo bag i've had my eye on for so long. it was on sale at 50% off! my long search for a green bag is over. :)


of course it's green!

...i went on my japanese mode. i just couldn't resist cutesy japanese stuff hence i bought this lunch box. turning japanese again -- kawaii!!!


posing very japanese like if i should say so myself. lakas ng trip.

...today is spaghetti day! my most requested spaghetti. people here at the office remember it everytime my birthday comes along... hehehe... ana's whining, she didn't get here in time for lunch so she had none. oh well there's always next year :)


it's too late for me to take a pic of the spaghetti now so this pic is lifted from the net. *lol*

another year older

If you read this, even if I don't speak to you often, you must post a memory of me. It can be anything you want, it can be good or bad, just so long as it happened.

i remember posting this before. but due to some messed up situation it got buried somewhere around here.

it has been a long journey, my 27 years and i want you, the one reading this to answer.

think of it as a gift for me.

tawa naman diyan...

im trying to cheer myself up with...other things. :)
im trying to have positive thoughts about it.
thinking fast forward? that's what makes me expect something more.
which i don't like doing anymore.
cause see where i ended up in?

bukas pa po ang birthday ko. dami na kasing well wishers. greet me tomorrow not today hehehe. i'm trying to stop time in its tracks so don't push it forward. :)

flood

I keep giving in, when I should know better.

nakikisama talaga ang panahon.

Flood
Jars of Clay

Rain rain on my face
It hasn't stopped
Raining for days
My world is a flood
Slowly I become
One with the mud

Chorus:
But if I can't swim after 40 days
And my mind is crushed
By the crashing waves
Lift me up so high
That I cannot fall
Lift me up
Lift me up-when I'm falling
Lift me up-I'm weak and I'm dying
Lift me up-I need you to hold me
Lift me up-and keep me from drowning again

Down pour on my soul
Splashing in the ocean
I'm losing control
Dark sky all around
Can't feel my feet
Touching the ground

repeat chorus

Calm the storms that drench my eyes
And dry the streams still flowing
Casting down all waves of sin
And guilt that overthrow me

repeat chorus

Lift me up-when I'm falling
Lift me up-I'm weak and I'm dying
Lift me up-I need you to hold me
Lift me up-and keep me from drowning again

the good, the bad and the ugly

the weekend was good, bad and ugly.

good: was able to fix some financial problems.
bad: financial status still not stable.

good: was finally able to hang out with him.
bad: was stupid to hang out with him and got treated like a second class citizen.

good: was able to down 5 bottles of beer.
bad: got wasted, had to be taken home and kissed by someone else, then had to cry at our doorstep out of frustration, trying to find the right keys to let me in, and the situation i have gotten myself into.

good: was able to talk to friends over soup and tequila.
bad: had to cry buckets in front of them. got me swollen eyes.

good: fantastic friends. the future looks a bit bright.
bad: another emotional rollercoaster.

good: birthday coming up
bad: another birthday, another heartbreak. i like collecting heartache gifts since i turned 25.

and where's the ugly part? i have a feeling things are gonna get uglier before they get better. another busy week ahead.

semi-happy today

watched war of the worlds last night with a friend. i almost didn't say yes but good thing i did. it got my mind off things. that movie was so tiring. seemed like i was running with tom cruise and dakota fanning the whole 2 hours. the movie is something you should see with someone you can hold on to. yung tipong pwede mong sakalin at palupaluin *lol*. or someone na pwede mong pagsamantalahan. harhar. i was expecting the movie to be a little bit like independence day, then i got the shock of my life --- don't worry i won't be spoiling the ending for you guys. i just didn't like the way the film ended.

my day's off to a good start. got one of my dilemma's semi-solved. i got only one deadline left. i'm gonna be out of the office later. hopefully my day's gonna end well.

wow july na pala. how time flies.