Blurry

Everything's blurry to me lately figuratively and literally. My eyes are having problems again and as of now I'm writing this entry with my face just 4 inches from my monitor.

I'm trying my hardest to get moving with my life. I'm using all my strength just to get up everyday. And put on a nice, decent face for my mom to look at. I'm happy that she's here but I'm also anxious to get my privacy back. So I don't have to pretend I'm okay. A friend told me yesterday after hearing what happened, "Sana di mo na lang nakilala ano?" I don't really know what to answer at this point.

Here's the song that's currently playing over and over again in my head since last night. I really should stop listening to these things...but I can't help it. I hope someday my heart will cease to try understanding his heart.

So I put on my make up put a smile on my face
And if anyone ask me everything is ok
I'm laughing cause no one knows the joke is on me
Cause I'm dying inside with my pride and a smile on my face...