More lessons from Bob Ong

1. "Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka niya."

2."Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang."

3. "Hindi porke't madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa."

4. "Minsan kahit ikaw ang nakaschedule, kailangan mo pa rin maghintay, kasi hindi ikaw ang priority."

5."Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang mga taong malalapit sayo. Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo."

For a change...

I'm posting something good today. Attended a three-day seminar mandated by my boss. Only three of us from our team were sent plus three other people from two more teams. We had to present something for our division heads at the end of the seminar and despite stressing over it this morning, we were asked to expound on our ideas more and present it to the big bosses. We didn't even get dissed. Weeee! And everyone congratulated us for a job well done. :)

Anyway, I just wanted to put this moment in so when I read back, I'd see even a small happy thought in my entries.

Unlovable

A new friend shared with me this Thai song. Describes just about everything I feel.

UNLOVABLE - MILD

Well, I know that I'm insignificant, and I know I can't be much
However longer, the more hopeless it is
When you never turn to look at me
And though there's never a day you'll be interested
And I know regardless of how long, you might have to leave me


But right now I still have time to let myself search for a good reason
To stop you right now, but I know full well it's hopeless
Even though no matter how much I love you
I know you probably won't be interested
I still dream and I still hope inside my mind that someday you'll have me
But I know it can't be
When you think I'm nothing, but it's okay
I want to ask to have you always in my heart for a long time...


And even though the things I do today might not be able to make you feel good
The things are enough to only bother you
I want to ask you to listen well
To the final lyrics I want to dedicate to you
That I sifted out from my heart and have to give you alone


I don't know how much longer until I can remove you from my heart
Until the good memories can fade away
Until I'll be able to love someone else again...
When you think I'm nothing
But it's okay, as long as I'm still breathing,
I'll love you forever...

Buzz

It startled me. I was editing at work when you buzzed. What was that? Every time you do that, popping out of nowhere with your casual hi-s, I get panicky. Frustrated. I don't know what to do. And you know what I always end up doing?

I cry.

Because it hurts.

Can't you understand that? I want you in my life, but not this way. The way you want it.

I want to get well, heal, move on. But you won't let me.

Comes The Dawn

After awhile you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn't mean possession
and company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises and you begin to accept
your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of an adult not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build your roads today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have ways of falling down in mid-flight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine
burns if you get too much so you plant your
own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn...
with every goodbye, you learn...

Don't You Remember

Rok shared this song with me. She says it reminded her so much of me. T___T

Don't You Remember - Adele
When will I see you again?
You left with no goodbye, not a single word was said,
No final kiss to seal any seams,
I had no idea of the state we were in,

I know I have a fickle heart and bitterness,
And a wandering eye, and a heaviness in my head,

But don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before,
Baby, please remember me once more,

When was the last time you thought of me?
Or have you completely erased me from your memory?
I often think about where I went wrong,
The more I do, the less I know,

But I know I have a fickle heart and bitterness,
And a wandering eye, and a heaviness in my head,

But don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before,
Baby, please remember me once more,

Gave you the space so you could breathe,
I kept my distance so you would be free,
And hope that you find the missing piece,
To bring you back to me,

Why don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before,
Baby, please remember me once more,

When will I see you again?

:((

Every night as I walk past the park in front of our apartment, I could not help but wish to see you sitting there waiting for me.

But I know you won't. It's just wishful thinking.

:(

If you can't have me completely in your life, can you please just let me go?

apart

he waits for her to understand
but she won't understand at all
she waits all night for him to call
but he won't call anymore

he waits to hear her say forgive
but she just drops her pearl black eyes
and prays to hear him say, 'i love you'
but he tells no more lies

he waits for her to symphatize
but she won't symphatize at all
she waits all night to feel his kiss
but always waits alone

he waits to hear her say forget
but she just hangs her head in pain
and prays to hear him say no more
I'll never leave again

how did we get this far apart?
we used to be so close together
how did we get this far apart?
i thought this love would last forever...

I tried...

I baked some cupcakes tonight to try distracting myself.

But then I couldn't help but think how you would like this. I gotta stop :(

What is there left to say?

I couldn't look back as I started to walk away from you. Because the tears were starting to fall. I tried my hardest to be strong during lunch.

I knew it would be the last.

Landslide

I haven't watched Glee for sometime now. And this is the first time I really liked a song from the show which I played over and over again. It's an old Fleetwood Mac song. It was a really touching scene on the show. I also shed a tear when I played it again on youtube. It's just so sad. Similar to what I'm feeling yet again.

Took my love and I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well, the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Well, I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes bolder, children get older
I'm getting older too, well

Well, I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes bolder, children get older
I'm getting older too, well, I'm getting older too

So take this love and take it down
Yeah, and if you climb a mountain and you turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well, the landslide brought down

And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well maybe, well maybe, well maybe
The landslide will bring you down

Melancholy still...

Oh, oh, I would go through all of this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain!
Yes, I would die for ya, baby,
But you won’t do the same.

Why can't I walk away?

...when you know you tried hard and lost it, gave it a shot again then tried harder but lost it again, but again gave your hardest with your last shot of claiming, but it still rolled out of your hand... then... it's time to give up... No guilts, no regrets, when you know you gave your all and everything was not just meant to be... :(

kahit sobrang sakit na, hirap na hirap pa din ako pakawalan ka. gusto ko na maging masaya, pero...paano yun ikaw yung saya ko? ang tigas talaga ng ulo ko.