some funnies

ok ok. since everyone's begging for a nice sunny post well here it is.

yesterday was the press launch of star circle batch 13. i've been part of these launches since batch 9 (which included heart evangelista and rafael rosell to name a few) and you can say that i'm a little bit used to the chaos that happens at these events. anyway after the presentation, some of the road managers, handlers and i managed to snag a few minutes of 'fun' time.

the unfortunate subject of the next few lines is good friend leah aka lelai reading FHM *lol*


lelai: hmm...this article by asia agcaoli looks like an interesting read...


lelai: OMG! ganun pala yun (getting engrossed eh...)


lelai: masubukan nga to...

i'm just kiddin' folks. lelai's a good girl. the article's only for stock knowledge. *lol* my shoulders ached for lugging my bag around almost the whole day, for fear of losing some stuff (and for someone to snag the copy of the cosmopolitan mag i myself snagged from my boss haha). but all in all it was a fun night.


tired by the bar. the dark circles under the eyes from lack of sleep. i should start drinking. haha.

oh and yeah, cherry tell jane can i please just buy her patty shirt? puhlease? :)

had enough

i was supposed to upload our pics from the catalog pictorial last monday but with the work load yesterday, i forgot and remembered it when we were about to go home. anyway here's a preview of photos to come.


cowgirl. yan ba ang empty? yeah fake yang smile na yan. have a cow man.

talked to yet another guy friend. i knew the answer already but i have to hear it again...and again...and again. to accept the truth fully. the ache to remember the lesson. i should have stayed hidden in the box. behind the jumbled words.and smiley faces.

it seemed so right. but i was wrong. i should have had enough.

empty

i'm supposed to be finishing a deadline by 10 am and here i am blogging.
i feel so empty today. i dunno why.
i was thinking the past few days.
if i die today would people attend my funeral?

i hope this day would end, fast.

there was this girl.
she ran. and ran.
as if in a race.
she didn't hear what the others
were telling her.
their mouths moved.
but didn't mean a thing.
she ran and ran.
she didn't look at the road ahead.
she tripped.
she fell flat on her face.
and she didn't want to get up again.
because it felt fine.
to just lie there.

my week in a dozen whats

1. what was the weirdest thing you did this week?
*took a bath with the bathroom door open so i could hear pops in seoul in the background hehe...

2. what was the nicest thing you heard someone say?
*you're (pex nick here)? wow.

3. what was the silliest thing you did?
*texted someone i missed him.

4. what was the most sarcastic thing you said?
* actually texted gela to say goodluck to 'acheng' for me.

5. what was the naughtiest thing you did?
*'teased' someone for the nth time. so sorry :)

6. what song have you played over and over again in your CD player?
* jjang nara's is it true and five candles by jars of clay

7. what's your dilemma of the week?
*lack of funds.

8. what's one realization you have this week?
*what else is new, im insecure. thanks so much luther for pointing it out :p

9. what is something you don't like doing but now you are doing it?
*waiting. i'm not the most patient of persons and i dunno why im being this patient. to the one who's making me wait -- i'm taking your word for it.

10. what got on your nerves?
*besides that woman at the drinking fountain, my windburned lips takes the cake. it hurts...

11. what's something you haven't done for sometime and did this week?
*actually 2 things a.) went out without blowdrying my hair (brownout!) and b.) i cooked! (carbonara)

12. what's the one word you absolutely dread hearing?
*the word soon. the person who thought of that word should be jailed for the word's indefiniteness.

3 words

annoyed. irritated. pissed.


don't mess with me.

im all three today.

a lot like love

"it felt a lot like love..."



i saw HIM in ashton.
but maybe because i see ME in amanda.

"don't. you'll ruin it..."

then again it's just a movie.

there's nothing like a great romance...to ruin a perfectly good friendship.

mis-match

i've attempted a few times to be a miss match or a hitch to a few of my friends. attempted meaning i haven't pushed through with the actual setting up of dates. now jiale turns the tables on me and decides to set me up with one of her guy friends.

now me being used to blind dates and on-line dating haven't been on a 'reto' date before. and now i know why my friend thess doesn't want being set up. the pressure is too much! and jiale doesn't even wanna budge from her stand -- she doesn't want to chaperone us. she couldn't stand daw seeing two of her closest friends na naglalandian. heller.

i don't know really what to make out of this...(?)

luuuv stories...

i don't know if cherry is being sarcastic or funny. she texts me to say she has a writing job for me. i was busy dubbing a tape of the anniv last sunday that i can't call her local. she finally asks me via sms if i can write love stories for a magazine.

wahahaha.

that was my reaction. i only write tragic love stories. *lol* the frog prince story was something out of my heart, that's why it came out nicely that way. writing fictional stuff? nginig. and cherry tells me a PG13 story is ok.

she doesn't know i ghost write for xerex once in a while.

wahahaha.

my boyfriend part II

guys, again meet my boyfriend.


abs-cbn's newest and hottest love team. yuck. *lol*

even the caption above had sandy laughing. i was clowning around with the rest of the scq gang after the star magic anniv special on ASAP. check out the abs-cbn publishing blogs for the rest of the behind the scenes pictures.

as for this blog well, all i want is for you to be familiar with my boyfriend. *mwahaha*

ramirez out. :)

good bye jopen

last friday we had an impromtu despedida for jopen who's leaving for the land down under tonight. bawal ang iyakan!


all smiles.

after chowing down at friday's, we headed to starbucks 6750. as usual the other girls went loco again over their favorite gazoos. cherry and i, talked about the usual bitterness surrounding our families and work. but then i couldn't stop myself from joining in the fun.


turning japanese este korean. asan ang pansit?

but the night didn't end there. jopen, charles, leah and me went to solas near abs-cbn for a little alcohol in the head. i was so sleepy already i kept yawning and yawning and analyzing. charles gave me his male pov. jopen on the other hand told me not to believe anything he said because charles thinks differently than the average male. well sige na nga.

but i'm ok really. i don't care anymore.

jopen take care. it's a whole new adventure for you. i will sorely miss you.

ni zai na li?

sa isang sikat na asianovela...

tseri nai: sino ang bago dao iyo buhay?
camille chou: san cai, ano gawa ko para mapagbgyan mo ko? gusto mo ikaw punta ng barcelona kasama dao?
tina wu: san cai, sino si dao? baka ako pede sama inyo barcelona.
san cai: hahaha busy dao masyado. wala na panahon ke san cai. lech. ako sama na lang hua tse lei.

*lol*


i'll let you go, i'll let you fly...

someone worth it all

my sister pointed out the lyrics of this song carrie sang with country group rascal flatts while we were watching the american idol replay last night. i didn't mind the song first time i watched cause i was just glancing now and then at the TV. work called for my whole attention.

the lyrics just touched me. it sort of gives me hope. i dunno. i feel hopeless most of the time when i think of the thing called love. the things i've been through. the joy and all the pain. i guess it will eventually lead to someone worth it all.

Bless The Broken Road
Rascal Flatts

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

american idol

just as i predicted carrie underwood won american idol. good. sorry for the bo bice fans out there. eversince a.i. started, between the 2 rockers constantine already won my heart. so when he was booted out, i chose carrie.

and her version of alone remains to be my top pick this a.i. season. which reminds me tina bebe where's my mp3? :)

im...

it's all i can think of the last few days. damn it. and to think super busy kami sa office, isa pang nakakagulo sa utak ko.

come on. lets get it over and done with. *lol*

galera

those 3 days in galera charged me.



it was fun. relaxing. laughter filled.



finally got to wear my 2 pieces. heehee. kapal ko no? :)



got a henna tattoo too...



got totally wasted...



but completely relaxed and rested...




but then my mind did wander off somewhere...



for the rest of the photos go here...

kissing mode

since im still waiting for our galera pics courtesy of paparazzi luther, and since i've talked about kissing for 2 posts already here's a little kissy quiz.

How good do you kiss?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Romantic Kisser.

Good for you! You know how to kiss and hopefully you have a certain someone to experience a serge of happiness with. If not, it doesnt hurt to flirt kiss a little hehe. Just dont get carried away. Romantic kissing is always a plus! Kissing is an art keep it up and youll be really good! Here some tips: 1. Be ready 2. no smoking 3. start slow 4. up the intensity 5. develop rhythm 6. change it up 7. pay attention to hands 8. experiment 9. respond 10. repeat

Romantic Kisser 75% Yippy Ki Yay! 63% Your more of a class act than youre giving yourself credit for 50%

tina and the rest of the gang i know you like quizzies, take this one. haha...

no rain

yes no rain today. and hopefully til sunday.

i'm off to my first real vacation since college graduation. again will resume breaking hearts and writing nonsensical stuff after 3 days.

byers everyone. :)


ps. ivy ayan updated kahit papano and yes i did kiss the frog. *lol*

the frog prince

nce upon a time in a kingdom not so far away there lived a princess, who was living a simple yet complicated life. she was often times heartbroken and would go to the small stream behind their castle to rant. the princess would cast her pains and sorrows to the stream, talking to herself, letting her tears create small ripples in the water.

one day as she was procrastinating, a frog suddenly jumps on a lily pad and starts talking to her. he wondered if they'd get along. they talked and talked about anything and everything. amazed at the wise words that the frog conveyed to her that the princess would now visit the stream hoping that she would be able to talk to him. the frog answered her questions and would console her, took her tortured heart by the hand and somehow healed her. finally someone who understood.

then out of the blue, during one of their talks, the frog asks for a kiss. though a bit taken aback, the princess obliges. after all they were friends now. the princess kisses the frog (or was it the frog who kissed the princess?) and he turns into a handsome prince. the kiss somehow changed the way things are with the princess and her newly found prince charming. they were still friends yet there was something building between them which got the princess confused.

prince charmings usually save the damsels in distress, and the princess felt like he did save her from misery. but suddenly things changed yet again. the prince after a while became busy with princely duties and 'man stuff' that he didn't have time for the princess anymore. they talked less and less. until the princess wondered if he still thinks about her. or even remembers her. and he disappeared without much of an explanation.

so the princess was lonely once again. she thought that maybe the frog prince would be different but in the end he was not. he was just the same as the prince charmings, who came and went, the ones that left scars on her heart. and this scar was deeper than the others. because she missed their talks. she missed their friendship. but it was too late now. the deed was done.

now the princess sits by the stream once more, creating small ripples in the water with her tears.

the end.

moral of the story:
princess
1. don't talk to strange frogs.
2. don't kiss frog princes. besides being warty they are still male.
3. the princess should hang out at other streams. or maybe just go to the town country fair.

frog
1. don't talk to broken hearted princesses. they are still vulnerable.
2. smart frogs should just remain friends with princesses who give them kisses.
3. frog princes should ask kermit the frog some pointers on being a good frog.

aja!

"Believe in happy endings... if you're not happy then it is not the end yet..."

i 'bumped' into this quote somewhere in PEX land. it's like saying 'AJA' to me. maybe it is...

just came from the talent center 13th anniv mtv shoot. kung kelan naman ako walang dalang jacket, we hung out sa studio 10 where it was super duper cold. it was a lot of fun amidst the chaos of the shoot. kasi nga talent center is one big family so it was like one big family reunion. almost all the stars andun, it will run til 11 tonight and may continuation pa tomorrow.

we arrived at the studio in time to catch desiree del valle's shoot. gawd. sabi ko nga kina ana natotomboy ako sa kanya. she's so sexy!


i just couldn't help asking des to strike a pose!

idol ko na si des. i'm already on a diet but i'm really going to get serious about it. not only for the galera trip but for the rest of the year.

kayanin kaya yun ng powers ko? *gulp*

extremes

the past 2 days were extremes for me. tuesday i was all out formal. sabi nga ni ana parang may awards night daw akong pupuntahan. hey isn't it nice too look pretty once in a while? people nga naman, if you look too good, you have a date. pwede naman magpaganda ng wala ha. :)

then yesterday, i was very beach-y. having a dry run for galera on the 20th. yahoo. finally vacation. okay. here is what the 2 extremes looked like.


picture a: the award winning all black number. picture b: the japanese/chinese inspired beach wear.

the beach attire got me through my 20 hour workday yesterday. yup you read that right. got another star magic catalog pictorial and it ended at 330 in the morn. i was sooo zonked out. i was the instant (was informed of the job minutes before the pictorial staff left ABS-CBN) photographer's assistant and we did 8 artists (the diva's maoui, michelle and glaiza; shaina, rayver, bea, john lloyd and sweet)all in one day. buti na lang i was in slippers. too bad darwin wasn't there to do my do. but sir david and i came up with a new pictorial session. the results will be coming out soon.

but don't wait for it with bated breath cause i'm no cindy crawford. heehee.

interesting

got your attention right? hmm...do you have a secret to share? go here. maybe i'll see your skeleton in the closet there one of these days.

or maybe you'll see mine.

full moon

it seems that everyone's not their usual self. or is it me who's not in my usual katinuan? anyway good thing i got to chat with chelo. and what i did made the truth all sink in. all the way to the bottom. i know now that that is all there is to it. sabi na nga ba too much fuss over nothing. eh.

im chucking out these feelings outside the window. let's get it on.

much ado about nothing

hey. i'm back. i tried some kind of a withdrawal from my blog and from PEX for a week. it was some kind of relief. and sacrifice in a way. yet i still feel empty. much fuss over nothing. ha. the only thing that made me happy over the weekend was me getting 'that' thing. quentin so much for world peace happening. :)

so what else came up except for me being more bitter? weeell i wore colorful clothes last friday, thinking it would lift my spirits. i was excited to wear my purple juicy couture jacket. but then when i got to the office, my boss said i looked like barney.


bleh. so i look like my most hated character. at least my armpits don't stick to my sides. bleh.

nuff of the funnies. i just can't help spreading the bitterness around. those who can relate just sing my song on my mind with me.

i hope HE does explain. because i just don't get it sometimes.

life's sneaky ways

yes i'm gonna quote alanis morisette. life has a funny way of sneaking up on people. fate has a funny way of saying the joke's on you. yes. i thought i was a-ok till the truth then again sprung on me like a jack-in-the-box.

hearing those names. para nanaman akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig. or should i say two bottles of san mig light. ayoko na. i don't want to be another statistic. another name on a long list. another conquest. i plan to dye my hair black. to maybe punish myself for being so stupid. and make it a reminder of the pain i've inflicted on myself.

ok ok the joke's on me. should i start laughing now?

labor day!

This was the supposed day of our bora trip (which has been pushed to june *eh*). it's been sweltering hot these past weeks and yesterday was no exception. i was peeved because i had to work on a sunday, a supposed holiday plus the fact that i didn't get to hang at the mall or even sleep late...

1030 am: i was already at the office in my white shirt and handy dandy mini (i wouldn't be caught dead in jeans while trudging in the hot sun...ang lagkit nun). i had to pick up lunch for everyone at the farmers mall in cubao and gulay it was so hot, the service van's aircon couldn't cool me and the utility men down. first waah. when i got back to the office parang nanghihina na agad ako...but! i managed to squeeze in a little picture time...


plopping down beside gidget at the hallway of dressing rooms 17-19. it's lunch time :)

200 pm: time to gather everyone into 4 vans and set off to raja sulayman along roxas boulevard. had no choice but to sit at the back and be burnt by the scorching sun through the van's not tinted windows...


good thing leah was beside me. we sung at the top of our lungs much to our artist's amusement. oh and yeah someone was making me smile here. someone pretty bad :P

330 pm: ay! the ultimate stickiness! ni ayaw namin magdikit nina aby dahil argh ang lagkit ng feeling. we had to get the stars dressed, line them up for pictorials, interviews and the presentation. yung iba pasaway pa. but the clothes were great and the boys and girls were ok over all.


karel marquez on stand by for an interview for Qpids


si glaiza habol sa retouch before their picture taking

for some more photos of the Flores De Mayo go here.

600 pm: as day turns into night the boys and girls get restless. who wouldn't? with the summer heat, the stuffy and itchy clothes, high heels and makeup i'd be wanting to run to air conditioned shakey's just across the street, order a thin crust pizza and a pitcher of rootbeer.


me and dear friend maoui david while she's lining up for the presentation. her neck is actually complaining sa tight necklace and her legs are all sweaty because of her petticoats. paano nga ba siya makakaupo?


ang pogi naman ng mamang to...carlo aquino threatening to escape in a jeepney or kalesa. he even pretended (yeah kunwari lang) to bribe us...with pizza *lol*

630 pm: even the staff was getting restless. jet valle and my boss makes chika to jc cuadrado and we realize he was absolutely cute and charming. sooo...when he suddenly sits down beside me on the bench, sa kawalan ng magawa we went on fan mode *lol*


me the ultimate anti-showbiz (before i worked in abs) having a fan pic moment. kahiya!

730 pm: we started walking for the sagala. and it was no short stroll in the park. it was a 3 km, stress inducing, sweat producing walkathon. buti na lang good natured pa rin ang mga artista. tawa na lang kami ng tawa. and i was surprised, a lot of people do still recognize some of our artists (yes, di pa din kami papatalo sa kapuso harhar!). we still produce the best stars. eat your heart out kapitbahay na network. :P


bawal magpahinga! haha...pagod na si alwyn and jill. but they still walked to the finish line!


Nagpapatawa na lang kami nina Thess. Pero nagrereklamo na din yung mga paa namin...

900 pm: hay finally dinner. Sabi nga ni janice candidate 17 pa lang tapos na sila kumain ni Thess. And concerned pa naman kami ni joy wondering where they went. while shoveling our dinner (yes my hands were shaking while i was spearing a lettuce leaf from my salad), rico j and marco sison serenaded us (di ako makarelate hahaha). the the winners were announced with matching fireworks display, signaling it's time to go home. finally.


ooh...that's where our taxes go...bulong sa kin ni kuya allan thinking city of manila ang sponsor. yun pala unilever hehehe...

1130 pm: back to homebase. taxi na ko pauwi. di na kaya ng powers ko magbasa ng sign board and pumara ng bus. zzz.

oops my entry got long. but it's a picture book entry anyway so i hope you're still reading up to this part. :)

getting dramatic for the nth time

i have a lot of things on my mind lately. work. my cellphone's on the brink. my sister. my relationship with my grandparents. my friends. my heart.

im on an emotional overload again. damn these mood swings. why cant i just be permanently on smiley mode? my glass is filled to the brim.

and oh yeah that one thing. its a thought that's haunting me. i'm hoping nothing ground breaking happens. no it absolutely can't...

flower girls

just got back from the Qpids press con. it was virtually valentine's day at the 13th floor with cut out hearts pasted on the wall, red couches and pink cupid teddy bears (sort of brings back the horror of my valentine's haha). anyway as usual when the commotion of the whole thing sort of died down, my picture crazy self went firing away...


flower girl! jasmine trias? im waaay cuter -- kapal.

and of course my friends also got into the whole gig...


me with flower beauties, dan, portia and gidget.

the roses on the tables, especially on ours were so pretty i wanted to take em home...


too bad. they wouldn't let me take it home, vase and all...

hay which brings me back to my yucky valentine's day. no one has sent me flowers on that special day. actually no one has sent me flowers ever. pathetic me. *lol* buti pa yung mods naalala ako nung birthday ko last year.

pero that still doesn't count wahahaha...

sweet fantasy

marnel got me into the mariah carey mood last friday. i never really thought guys would play her on their stereos. hehe...the lss lasted til sunday pm.

I'm in heaven
With my boyfriend
My laughing boyfriend
There's no beginning and there is no end
Feels like I'm dreaming but I'm not sleeping
Sweet fantasy
Sweet fantasy

was friday real? or just my sweet fantasy? :)

pleasant surprise

i'm now wary about PMs (private messages). As if i've learned my lesson. Haha. My Pex friends can relate to this. Because more often than not PMs have gotten me into boy trouble. *lol*

anyways i have an original nick at the forums. i still use that from time to time but the nick doesn't get any PMs at all. and then suddenly i do get one. guys use lines all the time and me being a sucker for cute lines answer back. we've been text pals for 3 days now and just yesterday i learn that his sister works for ABS.

what's hilarious about the said fact was i KNOW his sister. small world ain't it. i can just imagine the look on his face when he read my text message. i was rolling on the floor laughing myself (well ok not really, but i was smiling like crazy!). i don't know if can look his sister in the eye when i see her haha...but of course everything must be kept top secret. we wouldn't want his sis to know we've been doing outrageous stuff on the net.

that would be like not too cool. *lol*

down

my energy feels so low. i dunno if it has got to do with the fact i was here at the office as early as 8 am to finish a deadline. and a super deadline it was. as soon as i hit the send button in my email i get a text from you know who, looking for my article. now i feel so sleepy.

and misty.

while cutting up news clips, i've also come into another hard realization. and what big thing is that? im gonna keep it to myself muna. masyado atang masakit.

i think im gonna lie down for a while.

family reunion

i haven't been to one for some time now. since i've grown up with my mother's side of the family, i think i have adopted one of their traits, not relating too much to our other relatives, haha if you can call it that.

anyway, the reason we (my sisters and i) went to one because my paternal grandparents just came back to manila from the states a few days ago. they haven't stepped on PH soil since like 10 years ago. and the thing why going to see them is such a biggie is because i was going to see my father as well.

my father and my mom has been separated since i was in the 4th grade. the last time i saw him was i think grade 5. he wasn't much of a dad to me or my sisters. he made a lot of promises but broken each and one of them. by the time i was in highschool i was resigned to the fact that i don't have a father anymore. my mom, aunts, uncle and grandma did a pretty good job on me and my sisters. or so i say. :) though medyo sablay kay ate i think we're a pretty OK bunch of kids.

sooo...i saw him again after 15 years. it was the oddest and most awkward moment in my life. he didn't look like the father i last saw in elementary. he looked old. and as my younger sister put it, he looked sad. sad in a way like he lost his shine, his debonaire image. to say it bluntly, pardon me, he looked pathetic. my other aunts say my grandparents still support him. he also takes care of my lola's businesses here. yet he doesn't have anything to show for it.

i didn't know what to say, what to feel. i think i just uttered one word sentences to him. or mostly "ok lang." it felt like i was talking to a stranger. when he would walk by i would whisper to my sister "look busy!" so he wouldn't stop and chat with us. most probably what i felt was disappointment. he was the same irresponsible father we had years ago. or maybe even worse. he was proudly saying to anyone who would listen that we were his daughters. i had to laugh. here he was so beaming with pride about who we were, what we have accomplished yet he didn't have anything to do with it at all. not one single bit. shouldn't he be more, i dunno ashamed of himself?

i have to give my grandparents a tour of the station one of these days. and i'm pretty sure he'll be tagging along with them. and i'm absolutely dreading the moment. even though he's my flesh and blood, i don't think i'm his daughter any more.

am i evil for thinking this way?

being bored --again!

i was assigned to the Star Studio-Star Magic Catalog shoot last night. i was to assist project head/photographer david fabros with whatever needs he had. fortunately or unfortunately, andun lahat ng roadmanagers ng artists -- leslie, darwin and jing. so with 3 of us there plus sheila from ABS-CBN publishing there was no point of me being there hehehe...

well anyway, while we were lounging around the dressing room darwin suddenly takes on "parlorista" mode and starts doing my hair as if there's a hair styling competition...


the styles...from vamp to fast food chain model and korean pop star hwehwehwe...

the last frame was the before look. *lol* what did i tell you? we talent center people are a crazy bunch. :)

went home 1 am na...zzz...

ps. wore my green sabrina bench shirt. the scar was there for all to see. ;)

Friends

i just love this picture of ours. we look like the cast of the show "Friends". who's rachel? who's ross? *lol* i'd like to be phoebe but then again i wouldn't want to be that dense. Haha. i most certainly don't want to be joey. :)



for more pics of my not so old adventures go here.

can you help moi?

my back itches grr...i need volunteer back scratchers!



WANTED: Volunteer Back Scratchers (code-VBS)
REQUIREMENTS: No aversion to blood or stitches. Doesn't have long finger nails. can scratch on command. gentle scratcher preferred because of bruises. the heavy handed need not apply.
COMPENSATION: You scratch my back, i'll scratch yours.

applicants just leave you contact details in the comments section.

*lol*

some of my online friends say i'm somehow different. that they injected me with something at the hospital and i'm not the old me. are there any differences? hmm... oh well maybe it has something to do with my back needing to be scratched furiously yet with care hehehe...

i have returned

guess what? im already back working. and its a sunday.

my back still hurts. i think it's still bruised. i didn't think it would be that bloody. but it was. i can't even move my arms freely. can't even brush my bangs from my face. and when i sleep i feel like i'm not really rested. i only sleep in one position and that position sort of locks my lower back.

ang hirap maging isang invalid *lol* and what's funny is that my doctor was concerned that i couldn't wear low necked blouses and stuff that's why he made the incision a little lower. haha...i wasn't even thinking about that. i can live with it.

wanna see my scar? *wink*

more sighs

i almost forgot it was a wednesday yesterday. and it was my 9th wednesday visiting baclaran church. i made that promise the day i got my heart broken into a million pieces.

i left the office at 11pm. an hour to go before the day ends. for the first time after so many years i was forced to ride an ordinary bus to baclaran. it didnt matter to me that i have mahangin ba sa labas hair or that i'll be sitting next to suspicious looking characters basta i have to get there before the clock strikes 12. feeling cinderella. *lol* i made a promise and promises are meant to be kept specially if you are talking about giving your word to GOD.

i got there 1145. photofinish! There were a lot of people and i realized that it was the first wednesday of the month. plus they were having a vigil for the pope. while i was there kneeling, i just felt this heaviness in my heart again and tears started to swell from the corners of my eyes. i was blinking furiously. it was embarassing to cry in front of so many people. i dunno why i felt that way. is it the fact that i felt empty? or that ive taken care of myself for the past years that im longing for someone else to do that for me now? what is it that's missing in my life?

thats why sometimes i hate being alone. things echo in my mind. i believe in those moments i don't think, i just feel. im being too sensitive about myself. im trying to put up this damn great wall about me but it keeps falling apart. i dont want to be vulnerable. but the scars on my heart has left me an open target.

im sick and tired of feeling this way. i wish the anaesthesia they will use on me tomorrow numbs me for the rest of the week. hay. tama na nga muna ang lahat ng to...

friends wished the happiness i felt would be lasting, would be true. i wished that too. wishful thinking...

1pm April 8. wish me lots of luck.

sigh

that's all i can say. and if you can convert sigh into a feeling, that's probably what i'm feeling right now.

for the first time i think im regretting something i did.

tagaytay once again

i almost backed out of our 2nd tagaytay trip. i dunno, was feeling lazy i suppose. or making tipid. but i thought what the heck. i'm gonna be busy (kuno) and the april 8th thingy made me think na alright i'll go. and i'm glad i did. as usual it was a laugh trip. 9 kami all in all plus 2 visitors. parang naulit lang yung last time. the only difference was the pool was not as cold as before... kaya feeling ko asa beach ako *lol*


testing the waters. me, chelo, anne and chelo minus anna. we just got there and unahan na sa pool. it was so hot.


me having a dry run for bora. ang kapal ko talaga.


crowded shot. naputol si anne.


ang swerte naman ng batang to...posing with pex royalty, tsk tsk...*lol*


moi and my partner in crime :)


the girls with new 'barkada' ross


me with the paparazzi guys. oist pakierase na yung mga kahindik-hindik kong pics will ya???


night swimming with the girls.complete na coz anna's here!


the guys. na pilit pinapaattend ni chelo ng sayawan. (l-r) luther, nino, ross and francis.


the complete cast. with glen and mel ang mga bagong salta. as usual naaliw rin sila tulad nung former na 2 bisita *lol*

so kelan yung next trip? baguio naman... :)